Celebrity Deathmatch/Season9

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Episode Fight Featuring Winner Cause of Death
Tommy Vercetti Is Missing Pt.2 Mozilla Firefox vs. Computer Virus Mozilla Firefox Computer Virus: Mozilla scanned the entire files to search for viruses. She then finds all of the viruses hiding inside the files and terminates them with her PC, simply turning off.
Microsoft Employee vs. Nintendo Employee vs. Sony Employee Nintendo Employee Sony Employee: The Microsoft Employee dropped a XBOX on his legs, crushing them. While he was screaming out in pain, the Nintendo Employee dropped a DS down his throat and he chocked to death.

Microsoft Employee: The Nintendo employee found the Wii remotes and wrapped them around Mircosoft employee's neck, then stuck the remotes into his eyes and pushed him on the ground, face first, and the Wii remotes went through the eye sockets and the skull.

Swordfish vs. Sawfish User:81.68.92.38 and User:XxPanzerOutlawxx (Audience Members) User:XxPanzerOutlawxx and Sawfish User:81.68.92.38 and Swordfish: Panzer saw 81.68.92.38(a.k.a n00b) in the audience and he threw him in the arena to end their rivalry once and for all.(Since the vader hybrid's seem to have no effect, or maybe this guy can't take a hint) so Panzer picked up the Sawfish and n00b picked up the swordfish and began dueling with them. Panzer disarmed n00b and beat the swordfish to death with the sawfish. Then Panzer impaled n00b and cut a big hole out of his stomach.
Uncyclopedia is the worst The Unclickable Link vs. Do NOT click any links! The Unclickable Link Do NOT click any links!: Tried to click on The Unclickable Link so many times that it exploded out of sheer frustration.
Flying Spaghetti Monster vs. Invisible Pink Unicorn Flying Spaghetti Monster Invisible Pink Unicorn: Sucked into a vortex after she defied the laws of physics by being pink and invisible at the same time.
Me vs. You Me You: I brain tore out your brain and shoved it down your throat, for no reason at all. Now You Are Dead.
Special Pirates versus Ninjas Episode 5 Ninjas vs. 5 Pirates A Viking, A Samurai, A Medevil Knight, Pirate Ninja, Ninja Pirate, and Pirate Ninja Jesus Pirate Ninja Jesus 2 Ninjas: Ran over by the Vikings war boat.

A Pirate: Sliced in half with an axe by the Viking

The Viking: Shot multiple times when all the pirates raided his ship.

2 Pirates: Shot at the Knight, but their bullets bounced off his heavy armour and came back at them.

Random Audience Members, A Ninja, and the Knight: Blown up when the Pirates fired cannons to effectively kill the Knight.

Ninja Pirate: Head cut off by Pirate Ninja.

Pirate Ninja: Shot in the heart by Ninja Pirate.

A Ninja: Stabbed repeatedly by the Samurai.

A Pirate: Head bashed in with the iron arm of the knight by a ninja.

A Pirate: (Accidental Succide) Drank all the rum in reach and suffered fatal alchol poisioning.

A Ninja: The Samurai threw the knights armour on top of him, crushing him.

The Samurai: Pirate Ninja Jesus threw a ninja star in each of his feet, immobilizing him. Then Pirate Ninja Jesus ran up and cut his head off.

Super Deathmatch: Vice City Style Noseferatu vs. Cthulu Noseferatu Cthulu: Eaten alive by a live shark out of water.
Parrot vs. Pigeon Seagull Pigeon Parrot: Crushed by a giant TV deployed by the pigeon.

Seagull: (Accidental suicide) The seagull dunked underwater, attempting to break a record by holding its breath by 70 minutes. 27 minutes later, its lungs becomes disintegrated, drowning the seagull.

Tommy Vercetti vs. Tom Hanks Tommy Vercetti Tom Hanks: (Does'nt Die) Tommy carjacks Tom's speedboat and hits him head-on, sending him into oblivion.
The Vader Hybridmonium Ozzy Osbourne vs. Jeff Foxworthy Serj Tankian (Runs around in the audience, screaming) Ozzy Osbourne Jeff Foxworthy: Sent through a meat grinder, cooked well done, and eaten by Ozzy.

Random Audience Member: Jumped on by Serj Tankian and suffered a fatal concussion.

George W. Bush vs. Serj Tankian Serj Tankian George W. Bush: Skull crushed by Serj's boot.
Dog vs. Cat Cat Dog: Body sliced up by Cat's claws and his remains was later eaten by hungry Koreans.
The Best Of Uncyclopedia Deathmatch Part 1 George W. Bush vs. George Dubya Bush Lewis Black (Guest Commentator) George Dubya Bush George W. Bush: Tried to type "Save me now!" but since George Dubya Bush removed the "W"'s, it said "Save me no!" so they didn't help when he died from a stab in the heart.
A Komodo Dragon vs. An Equally Sized Crocodile No Winner The Komodo Dragon and The Equally Sized Crocodile: Burned by the audience's fireworks.
Homer Simpson vs. Bruce Lee Bruce Lee Andrew Stoddard and Homer Simpson: Crushed by the falling video scoreboard.
The Best Of Uncyclopedia Deathmatch Part 2 Ozzy Osbourne vs. A Ghost The Ghostbusters Ozzy Osbourne The Ghost: Captured by The Ghostbusters and made into a fine soup by the good people at The Olive Garden.

The Ghostbusters: When they brought back Ozzy's soup from The Olive Garden, Ozzy complained that the soup was cold, but no one could understand him. So, Ozzy got annoyed and bit all of their heads off. (Duh)

Ronald McDonald vs. The Burger King The Burger King Ronald McDonald: (Accidental suicide) Ate 50 Big Macs in a row, causing him to gain an outstanding 1,200 lbs. His remains and stomach burst out of his body, killing him instantly.
Jeff Foxworthy vs. Bill Engvall vs. Larry the Cable Guy Ron White No Winner Jeff Foxworthy: Beaten to death by the audience because he sucked.

Larry the Cable Guy: Crushed by a giant spotlight he fixed before the fight.

Bill Engvall and Ron White: More spotlights that Larry fixed fall down, smashing them.

Vehicular Deathmatch: The Vader Hybrid Way Bulldozer vs. Steamroller Steamroller Bulldozer: Ran over repeatedly by the Steamroller.
Big Rig vs. Monster Truck No Winner Monster Truck and Big Rig: Monster Truck ran into Big Rigs trailer, which was filled with explosives and it blew them both up.
Lamborghini MurciƩlago vs. Ferrari F430 KITT KITT Lamborghini MurciƩlago: KITT used the turbo boost and rammed its side and split it in half and KITT just drove on through.

Ferrari F430: KITT sputtered out David Hasselhofs alcohol all over it, then turned around and ignited its afterburners, engulfing the Ferrari in flames, causing it to explode.

World War Special Edition: Deathmatch Style Issac Newton vs. Julius Ceasar Julius Ceasar Issac Newton: Slashed to death by charging gladiators.
Spy vs. Spy Carl "CJ" Johnson Carl "CJ" Johnson Spy and Spy: After CJ fails to identify which is the right spy, CJ declares "Shit! I hate seeing identity crisis here!" and wields a shovel, slicing off part of their heads.
Stephen Colbert vs. Stephen Hawkings Stephen Colbert Stephen Hawkings: Was teleported to Colbert's ship and finds numerous of robotic aliens. His head was burned to ashes by robotic alien's eye laser beams.
Vehicular Deathmatch: The Hybrid Way II KITT vs. KARR User: The vader hybrid (appears throughtout the epsisode, as a guest referee) KITT KARR: Slammed and crushed into a tree by KITT. KARR's LED lights is still activated.
A Tank vs. Batmobile (controlled by Batman) Batmobile The Tank: Was unable to catch up with the Batmobile, so the Batmobile deploys EMP missles, immobilizing the tank.
Volkswagen Beetle vs. Mini Cooper S Mini Cooper S Volkswagen Beetle: Squashed to death by a trash compactor used by the Mini Cooper S.
Grand Theft Auto Deathmatch: The Panzer Way Evil Jesus vs. Black Jesus Samuel L. Jackson Black Jesus Evil Jesus: With Samuel's help, Black Jesus uses his halo and strangle Evil Jesus to death until his head becomes decapitated.
Ozzy Osbourne vs. King Kong King Kong Ozzy Osbourne: Ozzy attempts to bite off King Kong's head, but his head was so big, that his lower and upper jaws snapped open, causing it to fall off. King Kong then squishes his skull with his thumbs. He recoves from the hospital later in the fight.
Tommy Vercetti vs. Pac-Man User:81.68.92.38 Tommy Vercetti User:81.68.92.38: Pac-Man eats a big dot, and eats him alive, after 81.68.92.38 accidentaly dressed up as a ghost.

Pac-Man: Touched to death by Tommy Vercetti, since he only has 1 life left.

The Vader Hybridmonium 2 Bono vs. M. Bison Hot Dog Vendor (Winner of each fight gets a free hot dog) Bono M. Bison: Bono shoves a hot dog that had some mustard on it into M. Bison throat, and dies of his allergic reaction. Unfortunately for Bono, he stole a hot dog so he will not be getting a free one.
Fall Out Boy vs. Slipknot 81.68.92.38 HAX! Fall Out Boy: Buuuuurned Bij Slpkknits speecial atks.

Slipnkit: Ripped bij sherdes due 2 a machine gun.

Johhny Knoxville vs. Oscar Wilde 81.68.92.38 (tried to get Knoxville to sign his copy of Jackass: The Video Game) and User:the vader hybrid Oscar Wilde (Won a hot dog) Johhny Knoxville: Was dared by the audience to walk into a lava pit.

The Hot Dog Vendor: The vader hybrid threw his lightsaber in attempt to get 81.68.92.38, but he doged and it impaled the vendor.

81.68.92.38: The vader hybrid ran him over repeatedly with the hot dog vendors cart for hacking the list and making up parts of the episode.

Fanboy Night (Season Finale) The Pearl Jam Twins vs. 2 Metallica Fans User:The vader hybrid 1 Metallica Fan and User:The vader hybrid The Pearl Jam Twins: Due to their annoying conversation ("Does Pearl Jam rock or does Pearl Jam rock?" "Dude, they rock the house") the Metallica devotes smash their heads into each other.

The other Metallica Fan: Started to say that James Hetfield was the greatest singer/guitarist to exist. The vader hybrid disagreed, and they got into a big argument. Since the Metallica fan was acting like any other fanboy,(an ass), The vader hybrid then took a guitar, held it to the fans neck so the strings were touching it, and rubbed the guitar extremly fast, mutalating his neck.

Star Wars Fanboy vs. Star Trek Fanboy No Winner Star Wars and Star Trek Fanboy: The ST fanboy pulled out a phaser and shot it at SW fanboy, who blocked it with his lightsaber. The reflected bolt hit a stage light above them, which fell and crushed them.