Chad Ocho Cinco

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

(Redirected from Chad Johnson)
Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo2.gif
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Chad Ocho Cinco.

“I too have been known

for having mad dancing skillz”

~ Oscar Wilde on Chad Johnson

"He's not a Bear, so I don't care. Da Bears!"

~ Mike Ditka on Chad Johnson

Chad Ocho Cinco (formerly known as Chad Johnson) is one of the most popular members of the X-Men, having joined the group sometime after their fight against Buckaroo Banzai and Barry Goldwater. He was also a professional foosball player, and also once briefly served in Congress.

Contents

[edit] Origins

Chad was the product of a tiger and the band Kool and the Gang, founded within the fires of Mt. Mountain. After a lifetime of playing the foosball for the Washington Senators, he decided to move into superherodom, because he realized that while the money may not be there, the celebrations certainly are. He was first featured in X-Men volume 6, number quark, as a neutral character with a personality larger than Tony Blair that led to his clashing with the group, though he eventually joined the X-Men and fought alongside them against James Madison and Grover Cleveland. He was able to join the X-Men because of his special power, his mad-crazy dance skillz. These skillz were particularly effective against Juggernaut, who does not have nearly as cool dance skillz as Chad does.He's so damn sexy, i just want to bite his ass. im a guy. Chad is also the creator of You-Gay-Hoe cards which he sold to George Dubya Bush for a foosball arena.

[edit] Powers

He's a good player. and he makes it snow at your house when it's august so you can say "It snowed at my house" to you'r brothers friend via a Wii. Also he can catch footballs like #85 on the tides oh yeah that's Chris Griffin. Actually it's not it's Michael Jackson the football player not the singer. He also has meat vision like Mighty Mom and Dyno Dad on fFairly Odd Parents he can also bend stuff like Bender. He's on Futurama (the show i just watched an hour ago) I watched the one were he goes to the whore house and bones a bunch of sluty robots like crazy.

[edit] A Quick Note on the word "Skillz ThAt KiLlZ"

The word "skillz" is used here because, well, they're "skillz". They are not "skills", or "scills", or "skulls", or even "Henry Kissinger". Use of any of those other words just shows you don't know what you are talking about. Do you want us to know that you don't know what you are talking about? You'll lose credibility faster than Jayson Blair. He may also have madd Skillz for dancing but he will also become the first NFL player to become to want the ball thrown to him but not catch one ball. Chad Ocho Cinco has no touchdowns,on the year because Carson Ocho Cinco doesn't throw it to him. Carson rather throw it to T.J. Who'yourmama.....browns are the team that beat the bengls. i never even heard of the browns. Chad can make you shit out PS3.

[edit] Friends

  • Tom Brady - both seem to find extra powers when touching a foosball
  • Chewbacca - because everyone's friends with Chewbacca
  • Wolverine
  • "the cheerleader" - Chad proposed to her in Volume 7, number 2p3. Nothing is known of the results of this.

[edit] Enemies

  • "that town in Footloose" - Don't mention that town in Footloose to Chad. That'll get him real pissed off.
  • Magneto - Also doesn't like dancing
  • Tom Delay - probably doesn't like dancing either
  • Dr. Phil - archenemy

[edit] Trivia

  • Chad is not an ice cream cone.
  • Chad has a cooler DVD collection than you do.
  • Chad does not write for The New York Times.
  • Chad likes cereal.
  • Chad does know where Oprah buried the gold.
  • Chad can write his name backwards.
  • Chad knows football.
  • Chad is Ocho Cinco.
  • Chad should really be Ochenta Cinco.
  • Chad should really really be Ochenta y Cinco.
  • Chad knows baseball.
  • Chad knows boxing.
  • Chad does not know Wikipedia.
  • Chad owns a racing greyhound named "Larry 'Hank' Spunkmeister IV Jr II."
  • Chad is not as fat as Rahul.

309359 Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Personal tools
on Uncyclopedia