“I was the first champion!!!”
“What is a champion... Who are you!?”
“Your the CHAMPION of the day!”
What is a Champion?
A champion is a derogatory term referring to someone who is the head master of the international toast buttering CHAMPIONSHIP! A champion is also someone who looks particularly retarded in photographs, a champion can be someone who wears military attire to school or off the battle feild for that matter. Champions also include the homeless (usually the drunk ones) who like to hang around train stations and coffee shops asking for money for "coffee".
Other types of Champions
Another type of champion, though a more recent discovery, is usually made up of groups of individuals with blow-out haircuts, shaved square black eyebrows and pouting lips. These champions sport identical attire consisting of button down shiny shirt with most of the chest section unbuttoned revealing a valiant, shiny, muscular, shaved chest. The lower half consists of any jeans showing muscular definition and square shoes. At times, champions can be seen wearing track suits or wife beaters or diesel shirts and flip flops all while wearing huge sunglasses. What separates this champion from a guido is being that these types of champions all look the same, they show their identities via actions or possessions which are highly accentuated. An example of this would be a giant watch that the champion makes sure to point out in any way possible. This is a watch champion. A champion speeding down the highway in his bmw that's tinted with the windows half down makes sure to stare at every driver possible to make sure everyone takes note of their ride. This would be a bmw champion, that is, at any chance he gets he will push how cool his ride is on you or mention his ride. Although most guidos have bmws, only bmw champions will jump at the chance to let you know he drives a bmw. Another example of a champion would be the affliction champion. Many great fighters are wearing affliction clothing yet as of lately, many individuals are now wearing these shirts, along with other guido attire, this shirt transforms a regular guido into a tough guy guy from his walk to stare downs. This affliction champion tends to lean toward aggression as they feel they are now intimidating as a result of their shirt. Many affliction champions, although aggressive, have never been in a fight.
How to become a Champion
The first step to becoming a champion is to be completely socially oblivious and offensive for example wearing a horns and pointy tail to church, or wearing a "Wife Beater" to a confrence on feminism, a champion would also be seen wearing any piece of the signature "kkk" cloaking or hood in an african american community. Champions have also been caught masturbating in public, cuddling with goats, and finally wearing ridiculous clothing such as a green tuxedo to low-key social events such as funerals, or interventions.
History of Champions
One of the first Champions was most definently Jesus, as he single handedly managed to piss off the entire jewish population to which he belonged when in reality what he was trying to do was amuse them, Jesus also cloaked himself in white during all occasions (EVERYONE knows your not supposed to wear white after labour day!!!) so essentially judging by his flamboyant attire and generally insane behaviour it is easy to say he could be seen as comperable to a "pimp" or a... CHAMPION!!! After people had lost interest in Jesus the next great champion emerged: Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders was an crazy fool who though it would be a great idea to dress himself up as a (southern) P.I.M.P. and parade around the country on a chicken killing spree, angering celebrities such as the lovely miss Pamela Anderson. After establishing himself in the "Negro Chow" market the Old colonel then began to support the kkk with a whopping 30% of the profits from KFC, this was particularly ironic as his chicken had become the staple of African American Diets since it's invention in 1856.
Award of Champions
The Award of Champions is distributed to a special few uncyclopedians who have a particularly Champion-esq way of writing their articles, the award is distributed solely by the Great-Dishonourable User:Lumpolard (inventer of the award). Any who recives The Award of champions should sport it proudly at the top of their page, or the middle of their forehead!