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The Champs-Élysées does not actually exist but rather is a polite term for the Groinal Area or Anus, as in "I'll kick you in the Champs-Élysées!" Should someone attempt to mock you by claiming they have visited the Champs-Élysées or shopped on the Champs-Élysées, the correct repsonse is to bend over and after farting one should shout loudly "There's your Champs-Élysées!"