Charnel law

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In popular zombie literature and fiction, this is the "Murphy's Law" of a zombie attack. ^[1] Instead of going wrong as the clause, this should be replaced with "any disaster/accident that can lead to your death at the hands of the undead, will lead to your death at the hands of the undead." The law is caused due to a combination of panic at the hands of the unknown (and thus could also apply to the numerous other monsters present in horror movies), and human error in preparation. This law has several major manifestations in zombie literature and movies.

[edit] Charnel Law's Corollaries

• The Rule of Accidents: This is the primary rule of charnel law. Any plan desinged to gain advantage against an undead will fail due to a flaw in planning or an unforseen ocurrence. In addition, any random ocurrence, possible or not under Newton's laws, will happen under charnel law. For example, if one were to attempt to pour kerosene on zombies and set them on fire, hoping to turn an army into ash, the kerosene might spill on those pouring, the fire might fail to spark, or the zombies might not burn fast enough. The Rule of Accidents is also the rule in most cases responsible for the undead appearing in the first place, whether due to a spell gone awry, mutation by a freak radioactive fallout, or some other cause.
• The Rule of Resources: Without exception, any ranged weapon will ultimately run out of ammunition. The odds of this are lower with a ranged weapon which can be collected (such as a crossbow bolt), but any type of ammunition can fail in some way. For instance, even in an area filled with bullets and gunpowder, charnel law dictates that much of it will be potentially unusable due to chemical impurities or dampness. Likewise, gasoline or food will be become unusable or suffer unexpected shortages.
• The Rule of Mechanisms: Any complex mechanism will fail in some way. Being that guns have complex mechanisms which may fail, and require ammunition which can be exhausted (thus falling under two laws), a pistol is always a poor choice for attack, just as a car is a poor choice (because it falls under 3 laws) for escape. In general, the more complex and resource dependent the mechanism, the higher the chance it will fail.
• Rule of the Natural: The natural elements will occasionally participate in charnel law. For instance, a snowstorm in the middle of July or heavy foliage when making an escape. This also includes the probability of creatures other than human getting the zombie condition through bizarre accidents (such as zombie sharks, when the odds of shark bite in humans are slim).
• The Rule of Escape: Any chance of escape will be thwarted despite the impossibility of the event prevenitng escape. For instance, the zombies pursuing may have a sluggish pace when walking after their target but their target will hit an uneven patch of land and trip. More probable still is the breakdown of a means of transportation, such as a horse sickening and dying, a bike rusting, or a flat tire.

[edit] Charnal Law in Pop Culture

• Evil Dead 2^[2]
• Army of Darkness^[3]

[edit] References

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