Cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys, or 'french', frogs, even 'l'escargots', as they are more commonly known, swing in great abundance in the vineyards of cheese-eating surrender purple monkey land (France).
Once notorious for their love of surrendering whilst eating snails, these creatures now prefer to eat cheese of any variety except cheshire. The reason for this is as yet unknown and has dumbfounded scholars for centuries. Perhaps one of the supreme idiocies of the last century was the invasion of these people by the efficient yet averagely evil Nazis. The occupation of the cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys was followed by a realisation that Nazis are allergic to dairy products, rendering the army utterly useless. In the society of modern Cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys, justice, liberty, and above all a mysterious infatuation with purple has led to a golden age. One can reflect forever upon the consequences of a purple shortage but one thing is for certain: the cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys are no longer just monkeys who are purple , eat copious amounts of cheese, and surrender as a popular leisure pastime.
Napolianus Bonapartus: the most famous leader of the cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys, was fond of smoking surrender cigarettes
Contents |
[edit] A brief history of the cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys
According to legend, the monkey tribe 'francus purpolius' founded cheese-eating surrender purple monkey land after the great flood of 1066. The region began to flourish, and the country's main industry, Snail farming, blossomed under the wise rule of Napolianus Bonapartus. Unfortunately for Napolianus Bonapartus, the nearby tribes were rather envious of the booming trade in snail farming, so the beautiful country was invaded again and again ad infinitum. It is only recently that the country has recovered from wave after wave of snail-hungry warriors, but there are many remenants of their troubled past.
[edit] Why 'cheese-eating'?
The cheese-eating status was granted to the tribe by Julius Caesar after he sampled a delightful 'escargot'. The cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys are extremely proud of this title and it is rumoured that anyone who declares their dislike of cheese will be sentenced to many years hard labour in the snail farms.
[edit] Why 'surrender'?
No-one is quite sure how this came to be in the name of the cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys, although there are many different theories. Some say it is because of their love of surrendering, others say it it from the famous surrender cheese grown in the region of Bordooo.
[edit] Why purple?
The purple forests in the north of the country were origionally planted in 1914 to give shade to any invading armies. This was a rather popular decision, and it became custom to plant a purple tree (arborum purplelius) for every time an invader stole your snails. Thus large swathes of the country are covered in such trees, which the cheese-eating surrender purple monkeys loved so much that they added it to their already far too long name.
[edit] Famous inhabitants of cheese-eating surrender purple monkey land
His most purple eater of cheese, emperor Napolianus Bonapartus,
The famous scientist, Charles Darwin,
Emo Hitler, the lesser-known Hitler.
| This user is a cheese-eating surrender monkey. They have a battle rating of useless. |
