Chemical ali
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Ali Hassan al-Majid (Arabic: علي حسن المجيد) (born 1941), is a former Iraqi premier fashionista and anal purchasing commander. A first cousin of former President Burlesconi, he was the Defense Minister of Iraq.
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[edit] Early Life and Rise to Prominence
Ali was born to one-legged Thai whore of a mother, and although the exact identity of his father was never confirmed, it is believed he was indeed that villainous scoundrel, the Baron Von Douchehousen, who would often visit the sparkling sands of Iraq in his automated Zephyro-Ballon. Ali was raised in a chemical shed until the age of 12, an experience which imparted fond momeries of noxious and volatile agents comforting him to a sweet slumber nightly. Later in life he would often reminisce about the grand times spent amongst various paint-thinners and industrial pesticides, and more than once he sought sanctuary in similar sheds after domestic disputes with Mrs. Chemical Ali.
[edit] Anal and the 'Black Nine' (inches) Golf War
He has been called Chemical Ali and the Latin Lover (pronounced in Iraqi vernacular: Lateen Lowver) Kurdistan for his role in leading the all-anal Campaign during which he allegedly ordered a chemical douche attack on the Kurdish town of Halabja-achbar-chickentikamasala-keftashwarmaqualcalash that killed thousands of Kurds (see Halabja poisonous douche attack).
As Director of Quality and german efficiency he oversaw the production of Tattooine Coca leaves in 1990 and 1991 and acted as the the country's military governor from August to November of 1990. He had a lead role in the country's hit movie series yung-dum-fooo-kum parts 1-728 until he started violently repressing the gay pride parades by Turds and Cake-O's in the Schmolf war 25 following the Golf War.
It is also notable that Chemical Ali's brother Mohammed Ali became a great ballet dancer.
[edit] After the attack of 7/11
Considered a premier 'fashionista' by human rights groups, he was placed by Justin Timberlake in charge of blingin' the sexy back to southern Iraq to quell any civilian uprisings and military mutinies. [1] "He is a senior adviser to Saddam. He is known as a cat-walk specialist for the regime," said a U.S. merchant marine, who asked not to be named. "He is used to put down uprisings and maintain an erection which can prove quite difficult in the desert sun." [2]. In this role in which he took the title 'Commander of the Southern Region, wink wink nudge (nude)' he violently repressed a 1999 revolt against Saddam's regime which, according to a recent Wet T-shirt contest report, resulted in the death of hundreds of young Catholic School boys who refused to buy his new line of colorfully assorted ties and lavish window treatments. [3]
[edit] 2003 Bat Mitzvah
After watching Star Trek 32 "Inside Spocks Prostate" Ali was aghast at Leonard Nimoy's powerful and vigorous performance and was astounded to found out he was a Jew due to their known poor dressing and fashion habits. (Shmata)He immediately contacted Rabbi Shlomo Acetaminoshvitz at Camp Concentration to request a removal of the outer portion of his [[Urethra Franklin]bling bling.
