Chemical bonding
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“my shirt smells like chemicals!"”
~ Makenzie Beck on the state of his clothes.
“chemicals can be fun... I always have the strangest dreams after i use them... ”
~ Oscar Wilde on Chemicals
“chemicals bond to make chemicals bonds, which means they become friends ”
~ Captain Obvious on friends
“and Darth Vader isn't a very nice person, and he and Obi-Kenobi play with lifesavers and Obi-Kenobi does a magic trick and he disappears... ”
~ a three-year-old on Star Wars
[edit] General Overview
Chemical bonding was invented by a man named General Thomas J. Overview. He decided that life would be better when the universe wasn't just a huge cloud of floating atoms. He was the one who made it possible for Atoms to bond together, in a famous event known as the Big Bang, (see orgy). However, at age four trillion, General Overview was diagnosed with boson poisoning, because he was so badly exposed to anti-matter bosons when he created the universe. he died, leaving the universe as fair game.
[edit] How Chemicals Bond
A common misconception about atoms, is that they are magnetically attracted to each other. This is only a myth perpetrated by the Chinese government, in an attempt to cover-up the shocking truth about how chemical compounds are reallymade. In reality, chemical compounds are made by vast numbers of workers in vast warehouses. It is said to be a very dangerous job, because they use highly toxic glue to glue atoms together. The workers are paid very little (because that's how it goes down in China), and they often suffer of glue and radiation poisoning, (see AAAAA). So next time you have salt with your meals, just remember that every atom you're eating was glue together by workers in a Chinese sweatshop, and that it contains large amounts of highly toxic crazy glue.
