Chess Club Party

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This article is about the legendary Chess Club Party, where the band The Chess Club Party held their first and only concert.

In the fall of 2005, The Falköping™ was struck by lightning when The Chess Club Party’s first EP came out. Nobody had ever heard of the band before the release, and just about as few would have heard of it after the Wilde release party, held at an old 19th century castle in France, hosted by Oscar Wilde himself. The band was blessed with an enormous hype, and nothing less than universal success seemed possible. After four, short, songs played by the band, guests jumped on the band members, dancing on their bellies of joy, and continued their hard partying with happiness, not loneliness, in their hearts. The following quotes were said during the evening by some of the more famous party guests.

It was back in Hastings. The fog was in my eyes. I was smoking my first pipe of crack. I will never forget that sound. Sounds a little bit like The Chess Club Party.

~ Darth Vader

I hate slow songs. My hair is, real long.

~ Göran Person, Swedish prime minister on Kick Ass Rock N’ Roll

My boyfriend likes to say catchphrases in bed, and tweaking them a bit to sound sexy. He says “How do you like my pointy king?” and “I’ll fucking fuck you till the end of my presidential term”. One time, he said, while he was reaching climax, “CHESS CLUB PARTY FRICKN’ KICK ASS”. That was the last time I let him sleep with me.

~ Monica Lewinsky

We don’t talk as much as we used to. I never thought that leather jacket meant anything political.

~ Walt Disney on why Chip is a Nazi, and listening to The Chess Club Party

If I could choose what kind of films I would direct, I think it would be pornos. I like porno. It’s kind of a tradition in my family; Christmas eve, the fireplace sparks, Christmas songs is heard in the background and grandpa takes out his videos, showing some amateur porn and rare bootlegs with The Chess Club Party.

~ Håkan Nesser

I once got stuck with my head in a hole in the ground. Kind of silly when I think of it, but I really freaked out. Dude, I just went nuts singing The Chess Club Party’s hit “Master of the Internet” and all of the sudden it just struck me. I am black.

~ The Shredder

I swear, I didn’t know she was two! We had so much in common!

~ Oscar Wilde

Unfortunately, it would turn out that the day after, the black outs the guest suffered from would be extreme. Nobody could remember what had happen the night before, and more importantly, what music they had been listening to. The Chess Club Party, sick with AIDS of disappointment, could do nothing else than return home to the Tower Of Power™ to work on a new songs and toast some of the best toasts ever toasted.