Chickity China the Chinese Chicken
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“Tasty!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Chickity China the Chinese Chicken
“An invaluable asset to our team. We will miss him... hehehehe...”
~ the restaurant in Shanghai on Chickity China the Chinese Chicken
Chickity China the Chinese Chicken was a Chinese Cabinet member and foul, born Chickadea Zheng Go. Contrary to popular belief, Chickity was actually born in North Korea in the 1972 Asian Chicken Wars but moved to Shanghai when he was still an egg and attained a Chinese passport and visa. He is most known for his very public and musical bust-up with wife Zang Ti after an affair with a white duck. He later worked in a restaurant in China but disappeared only a few days after starting.
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[edit] The First Week
It was one week since Zang Ti looked at him after the duck incident, cocking her head to the side, as chickens do, and saying "i'm angry" and It was about five days since she turned round to Chickity and said "Get that together come back and see me". Indeed, it had been three days since the "living room" incident, where Chickadea was caught cheating. However he realized that it was indeed his fault and that yesterday she'd forgiven him, but insisted it would still be two days until he said he was sorry.
In his words he innuendoly told her to "Hold it now and watch the hoodwink" as he tried to make her stop and think. He explains how she may think she's looking at Aquaman, as he "summons fish to the dish" and although he liked Chalet Swiss, was more so a fan of "sushi" simply because "it's never touched a frying pan" He then went on to explain how his rhyme-busting techniques were as hot as wasabi and as big as sex-goddess country singer LeAnn Rimes because he was all about value. Zang Ti then proceeded to slap him for rhyming "rhymes" with "Rimes", but let him finish as he began on a tangent about Bert Kaempfert's "mad hits". He explained how he made a break from his relationship by "taking a fake" and ordering a vanilla "stinkin' achin' shake", as he found vanilla to be the finest flavors. Chikity also said he thought about introducing his wife to the white duck, to get the duck to admit that she incited the affair, though this would incite feelings of vertigo and would require her to sign a waiver. The rambunctious chicken said he found his wife particularly amusing when she was mad and he tried hard not to smile, though he felt bad. In an interview he said he was the kind of guy who laughed at a funeral, and although many people, including his wife, couldn't understand what he ment, he ensured everyone "you soon will". He carried on by explaining that he had a tendency to wear his mind on his sleeve and had a history of taking off his shirt.
[edit] The Second Week
Like a chorus of a strange, wacky and slightly annoying song that, if you were to hear it again after several years, you would say "Oh, I remember this", and then like it until it became annoying again, when the argument of "that week" came up again. Chikity reiterated that it had been one week since she looked at him, Zang Ti, throwing her arms up in the air, said "You're crazy", as it had actually been two weeks since the living room incident. Although it was indeed five days since she tackled him for no reason, burning his knees on the rug, Zang Ti realized that Chikity was infact completely insane, thinking the afternoon was three days ago. Because of this she began to realize that his stupidity in the past was not his fault. And not a moment to soon, Chickity was already sitting back and waiting for her to say she was sorry, but Zang Ti had a few things to say first.
"Chickity China the Chinese Chicken" She said, "You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin', Watchin' X-Files with no lights on, dans la maison, hoping the Smoking Man is in this particular episode." Like Harrison Ford Chikity became frantic, comparing himself to the tantric Sting and that, like Snickers, he was "guaranteed to satisfy". He said he had made films in the same style of Akira Kurosawa, but soon after admitted "Okay, I don't make films, but if i did they'd have a Samurai," He threatened to get a younger woman by getting "a set of better clubs, just so my irons aren't always flying off the back... swing!", and that the large part of his free time would indulge in large amounts of Sailor Moon as he had a particular sexual attraction to anime girls and lolicon.
Chickity finally admitted to his wife, face-to-face that he did indeed think she was funny when she was mad, and he tried really hard not to smile, as he did feel bad when he did, though she still didn't understand how he would laugh at a funeral, she accepted his tendancy to wear his mind on his sleeve and his history of taking off his shirt.
[edit] No Actually, The First Week
Chickity insisted it had really been only a week since the affair, and looking on her calendar on her mobile phone relised that ACTUALLY he WAS right! Zang Ti dropped her arms to the side and said she was sorry. He said it was FIVE days since he laughed at her and said "you just did what i thought you were gonna do." and THREE days since the living room incident, but the two relised that they were both to blame, but said "what could we do?" and yesterday she just smiled at him, as they both knew that it would still be two days before they said they were sorry.
Chickity went missing after he resigned from his cabinet position to work in a restaurant in Shanghai, he was there for two days when he never made it home after leaving the resterant from a late shift.
[edit] Did You Know?
- - Birchmount Stadium is home of the Robbie.
- - Barenaked Ladies dedicated the song 'One Week' to Chickity China, though some Russians think that Chickity and Zang Ti actually dedicated their bust-up to One Week.
- - Chinese Chicken is tasty
[edit] See Also
- - Chicken
- - KFC
- - Rolf Harris
- - China
- - North Korea
