Chimaera

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“Mmmm... chimeras...”

~ Homer Simpson on Chimeras

“WRHAAAAAAAAARRHR!!!”

~ Chimera on getting mad

Who ever made this is very rode and is going to be sorry.XD

A Chimaera (also spelled chimera, chimaira, kimera and ygkoljark!) is a highly dangerous creature who breathes fire. And eats men. And women.

Anatomy ( not of Grey )[edit]

A chimera, as described by Pliny (Pliny Panda the Third) is a "very, very, very big thing that can chop our headz off".

Scientifically speaking, the chimera is a nasty thing with three heads.

Mythologically speaking, the chimera is a lion with the back quarters of a goat and a pair of dragon wings. It also has got a head of a goat sprouting from its back, and a snake tail with a snake's head in the point. It can breathe fire, fly, run long speeds, swim, attack Tokyo, sing, think, and most of them can talk (although they prefer to roar. And when they do talk, they only say rubberish).

How to breathe fire[edit]

The chimera's lion head breathe fire by having a pack of matches and gasoline connected to their stomach. Thus, when the chimera gets mad, the lion head simply opens its mouth and lets it out. As it goes from the stomach, the fire can also go from the stomach down... in other words, through the ass... unfortunattely.

Camp Studies With Chimeras[edit]

Our field mythologist, Jack S., had gained a chimera's egg (by stealing it) and hadraised a chimera to study it. His diary goes like this:


November 1st, 2006

  • The chimera is hatching. It's coming out of the egg! Oh, it's beautiful!
  • Oh, no it isn't. It's fugly, actually.
  • Ok, description: It's still blind (of all eyes), it looks like a hairless lion with bat wings and two bonus heads. It's covered in something that looks like sauce. I think it's blood.
  • I tasted it. It is blood.
  • Note to self: Do not ingest chimera's blood again. Highly toxic.
  • My wiener fell off.

November 2nd, 2006

  • The chimera had opened its eyes and it's now exploring my lab.
  • The chimera destroyed my freakin' lab.
  • I think the snake head is dead.
  • No. It's alive. It bit me.
  • Note to self: the snake head as venom in its teeth. It hurts.
  • Note to note to self: It's not venom! It's a miracle juice! My wiener grew back!
  • Note to note to note to self: My wiener fell off again.

November 5th, 2006

  • The chimera is gaining fur.

November 6th, 2006

  • The chimera lost its fur.

November 7th, 2006

  • The chimera is gaining fur again.

November 13th, 2006

  • The chimera is starting to refuse to drink the breastmilk. This means it wants meat.

November 14th, 2006

  • The chimera bit off my sister's arm.

November 16th, 2006

  • The chimera ate my sister. Note: at the point, my sister was 4 months old. This means it doesn't eat adults.

November 20th, 2006

  • The chimera ate my milkman. But he's a small dude.

December 12th, 2006

  • I think the chimera is trying to fly. It climbed to the roof and it's opening its wings...
  • And it fell hard on the ground.
  • I think it's dead.
  • No, it isn't. It bit my wiener again.

December 25th, 2006

  • Let's see if it has the desire of celebrating the birth of the Lord.
  • No. It bit my crotch again.
  • Wait, I think it's praying...
  • Nah. It's chewing the Christmas tree.

January 5th, 2007

  • I've brought the chimera a baby dragon. Let's see if they connect by being two magical creatures.
  • The dragon burnt my house. The chimera was nearly killed by the dragon.
  • The dragon's mother had come to pick up her cub. It burnt the ashes of my house.

January 20th, 2007

  • I think the chimera has smoked marijuana.
  • The chimera bit my crotch again.

February 29th, 2007

  • I think the chimera is trying to breath fire.
  • My wiener grey back.
  • My wiener's on fire.

March 17th, 2007

  • The chimera is trying to mate with my pillow.

March 24th, 2007

  • My pillow is pregnant.

April 1st, 2007 (Fool's Day)

  • It's April Fool's Day. I tried to trick the chimera.
  • The chimera burnt my hair.

April 25th, 2007 (Portugal's Independence Day)

  • The chimera doesn't get off my leg.

April 27th, 2007

  • The chimera bit my leg off.

May 5th, 2007

  • The chimera is trying to fly again. This time from the bridge.
  • The chimera has drowned.

May 6th, 2007

  • The chimera can swim. Damn.

May 7th, 2007

  • The lake is polluted.

May 28th, 2007

  • The chimera ate my iPod.

June 5th, 2007

  • I took the chimera to the church.

June 6th, 2007

  • There's no church anymore.

June 24th, 2007

  • The chimera is trying to reproduce with everything.

June 28th, 2007

  • My leg is pregnant.
    • Note: not the leg I still have, the one which was bitten off.

June 30th, 2007

  • My other leg is pregnant.

July 6th, 2007

  • I got laid.

July 27th, 2007

  • Nancy broke up with me.
  • The chimera burnt Nancy's hair.
  • I love the chimera.

July 28th, 2007

  • The chimera burnt all my clothes.
  • I hate the chimera.

August 16th, 2007

  • I still hate the chimera.

August 20th, 2007

  • The chimera managed to fly!
  • ...And it fell.

September 30th, 2007

  • The chimera flew away. FINALLY GOOD GOD!

November 4th, 2007

  • The chimera destroyed my house.

November 5th, 2007

  • My leg gave birth to little chimeras.

December 18th, 2007

  • I got laid again.