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With the Panda Suit provided by Chozo Statues, Samus can turn into a Furry at will!

The Chozo are an ancient bird-like race residing in old Metroid games. They help Samus Aran on her quest by giving her powerups such as the Varia Suit, Morph Ball, HeadOn, and the Vagina Attack.


The Chozo resembles a hunched over humanoid figure with a little beak and two very big hands. Chozo statues always look like they're ready for some fun with Samus's morph ball form.

  • Frog
  • Hat
  • Motorbike
  • Small Plastic Box
  • Old Shoe Insert
  • Carpet
  • Graphite
  • Outer Space
  • Pebble
  • Inside Wire Maintenance Contract Exclusions
  • Fresh Juicy Peaches
  • Uzbekistan


The chozo evolved from the dinosaur race that also spawned Godzilla and Barney. They endured many years of peace on their planet and built statues of themselves that were used to teach their off springs the fine art of making love to their special appuratus the Morph Ball. But one day they realized that they realized that they were bored with that so they went other planets to find young children to rape. So they went to the planet K-21AA to find the perfect little girl. They hired the space pirates to come kill everyone else so that no evidence was left to prove their evil actions. They took the llittle girl back to there planet and built a special containment suit so she couldn't escape, and they could easily inject booze directlly into her blood stream leaving her in a grogy and easily fuck-able state. The chozo eventually met their downfall when the little girl went into a drug induced seizure assplosion and killed every single Chozo. She awoke to think that the space pirates killed them and that it was her mission to castrate them all to pay for their sins.

Habits and Lifestyle[edit]

The Chozo built many great cities in their height of power. Yeah right! Samus often finds herself reading this as she stands in some dusty old Chozo Ruins. They were an intelligent sentient race that held a great amount of power. Evidentally, it was not enough to get rid of those blasted space pirates.

As for the Chozo themselves, they do nothing more than screw around with Samus, hiding away like the pansies that they are and occasionally sending out monsters to screw her. The Chozo are notorious for being absent from the picture and leaving their crap behind. In any quest with Samus, the Chozo are always on some other planet. Their excuse? Just some big fucking meteor crashed, tore a dimensional rift, wrecked the landscape, and now there are mutant penors running around killing everybody.

The Chozo supposedly raised Samus Aran from a small child and built her powersuit. Then again, being shitty parents, they booted the girl out and told her to go kill some Space Pirates.

Importance In Metroid Games[edit]

Throughout many different metroid games, Chozo statues have always been there to provide Samus with powerups. This can be achieved by rolling up into morph ball and getting molested by their hands.

The Chozo seem to be aquaintances with Grues. How this came to be is unknown since those damned bastards are always somewhere else when you really need them.