Chrysler Reliant

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The Reliant was a massively unsuccessful car designed and developed by the American car manufacturer Chrysler in the 1980's, in response to a growing demand in United States for cars that looked and performed above and beyond the standards set by the crap they had been shoveling out for years.

The Chrysler Reliant is also a precursor for the Auto Box Revolution of 1991. Other copy-cars are the Chevrolet Astro, Scion xB, and the Toyota "What the Fuck" F(ucked-up)J(eep) Cruiser.

Designed in 1379, the Reliant sat on the drawing boards at Chrysler for more than 600 years, waiting for the development of the internal combustion engine and the creation of the company. In the 1980's, more than five of these cars were sold worldwide, making them one of the best-selling cars to ever come out of a U.S. automaker.

Performance[edit]

The Reliant remains one of the slowest cars in the world, earning that reputation in 1987 at a dramatic Le Mans. Fifty years later, the Reliant has become prized by collectors not only for her tremendously unresponsive acceleration, but also for her shoddy handling and poor suspension. While travelling at over 27 MPH the driver has even more risk of rolling the van when commencing a sharp corner.

The Mystique[edit]

For over three weeks, the Reliant has been sought for something collectors call, "The Reliant Mystique." Said to extend to all of the infamous "K-Cars", the Reliant Mystique is said to be an ineffable quality of crappiness, "and aura, if you will" says one unverified and uncitable source. The most prized of all are the "Sky Blues," so named for their uninspired paint scheme. Some of these fetch prices in the $200 range, but at auction they can reach almost $210. To this day, people have largely forgot about the whole thing.

Further Application[edit]

The K-Car platform came to be the base from which every single Chrysler vehicle was designed from 1981 to today. Yep, your mom's Caravan is based on a Reliant. Chrysler designer Lee Snortacoca made luxury versions of the cars by adding 7 feet of overhang to the front and rear of the car. These became known as Chrysler Imperials, New Yorkers, Cosmopolitans, and Esquires. John Hughes had a sick schoolboy fetish for these cars, as many K-Cars were in his movies.