Chuck E. Jesus
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Chuck E. Jesus, or Chuck E., as he prefers to be called, was born to a poor imigrant family in Podunk, Israel, 1948. His siblings were all committed to insane asylums by age 6, and he grew up alone and addicted to masturbation. At age 18, he moved to Twister City, Oklahoma and worked for Wendy's, a hamburger chain, rising to the rank of Rear Admiral by the time he'd finished puberty. He is currently performing his tri-yearly ritual of hunting for young, nubile white children between the ages of 4 and 12, whom he uses to fuel his pedophilic teat-mounted power cells.
Heil Hitler.
| Fear their wrath, and beware their contrived names. If you are still confused about which one you want, you were probably much better off with Original Jesus. | |
| Monster Jesii | |
|---|---|
| Jesusaurus Rex: The tyrant Jesus...lizard | Save yourself from Werejesus! |
| DinoJesus: Nazareth Park is frightening in the dark | And they said Jesus rode on a Mule...Nyah!:Llama Jesus |
| Attack of the 500 foot Jesus: Demolishing non-blessed skyscrapers -- New York, watch out! | When there's no more room in Heaven...: Zombie Jesus |
| Jesus-Sonic: Lord and Savior of Hedgehogs and Sega gaming. | The multidimensional, Scientological king of rodents: King of the Shrews |
| Munchie Jesii | |
| Jeez-Its: Orange, crunchy, and fun to eat! Get your own box. | Savour the Saviour: Cheese Jesus |
| Jesus Juice: An Energy Drink...that's Divine! | Oh, where have all the Jesii gone? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you: Hershey's Jesii and Creme |
| Jam Jesus: With a name like 'Jam Jesus', it has to be good. | Finally, something on a stick the whole family can enjoy!: Sweet Jesus on a Stick! |
| Mecha Jesii | |
| Cyborg Jesus: Retrofit by God after death | Domo arigato, señor: Robot Jesus |
| JESUS 9000: "Open the Pearly Gates, JESUS."
"I'm sorry, Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that." | Gets your soul white, white, WHITE!: All-Purpose Jesus |
| Optijesus Prime: Saviour of the transformers | |
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“Seriously, random in not funny 99.9% of the time, idiot! Make freak'n sense idiot!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bat Fuck Insanity
“Fuck you and the horse you road in on, idiot!”
~ Noobs on previous quote
“Sparta? This is... BAT FUCK INSANE!!!!”
~ Leonidas on Bat Fuck Insanity
 | This article is complete, irredeemable xylophone. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, programs at the pituitary gland, and is an unfunny idiot. If you attempt to legislate this, you will most sometimes legislate Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will legislate your xylophone!!!!!! |
Fail to due so will result in a brutal butt-raping by Oscar Wilde's horse, shown above committing brutal butt rape.
If you are lost, you can read the main article: Bat Fuck Insane.
I can't take the madness!
- Click here for more madness!
| Warning: Rouge the Bat This category contains Rouge the Bat, which has been declared Hazard Level 4 by the Bush Administration. If caught reading this page, you are advised to search for more Rouge the Bat porn on Google. |
