Churkey

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“I had one for Thanksgiving

~ Tamia
A fire breathing churkey.

Churkeys are rare chimeras that will burn and eat anything that moves, anything that barely moves, or anything that won't burn and eat them while they're being burned and eaten. These creatures are extremely dangerous, although their white meat is a gourmet delicacy. Only very brave or very desperate chefs will dare chase after one.

A churkey will eat almost anything, but among its favorites are rhinoceroses, onion rings, and especially lighter fluid. It will even dine on the occasional steak with toothpaste.

Churkeys usually stay in their own habitat in the barren lands of Uulandia, but every so often one will escape into a nearby city. In this case, the churkey will attempt to raze any structure it sees. The best advice if you see a churkey is to run away as quickly as possible.

Churkeys are usually hostile toward humans. When hunting, they will rip the flesh off the bone before they kill their prey, making them a unique predator. They will also often thrash their claws in the eye sockets of the victim to inflict horrible pain.

One famous person who owned a churkey was Ulysses S. Grant. Grant would care for the churkey suffering only from several third degree burns each day.

Some people even go as far as to raise churkeys on their farm. This often leads to huge fires in the fields, usually destroying much of the farmer's crops. This also leads to the illegal breeding of churkeys for fights. Churkey fights are sometimes held on a farm to test the vigor of the two churkeys. Farmers can bring their churkeys from all around, and the one with the strongest churkey will get a free trip to the supermarket and receive a free bottle of steak sauce.

Churkeys can be recognized by their chicken-like head and turkey-like body. If you spot a churkey near your home, it is recommended to call your local churkey control service.