Cliché

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Oscar Wilde and his gay lover.

Cliché was invented in 1337 by Oscar Wilde, your mom, Jebus, Chuck Norris and 42 robot Adolf Hitlers. They decided it was the best thing since sliced bread and they were as busy as bees making hundreds of them. After the death of Wilde's gay lover (an avid kitten huffer) decided there's no use crying over spilled milk and moved on with his life. He wanted to invent Cliché later, but then again, why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? He did not, however, want to re-invent the wheel. At the end of the day, it was all water under the bridge.

What it is[edit]

Unless one is dumb as a post, in which case one might say AAAAAAAAA!, one knows a Cliché is something that has similarly become overly familiar or commonplace an innovative plastic hamster village, according to Steve Ballmer.

Quick process[edit]

Surely linking to this image all the time is not a cliche, right? Oh yeah. It is.

The invention of Cliché was easy as pie. Wilde knew that many hands make light work, and decided to hire many people to help in the process. However, too many cooks spoil the broth, and Wilde was forced to downsize some workers. He claimed that a little birdy told him to pull a fast one on them, but the workers weren't born yesterday, and knew what he was doing. Wilde shot back at them, saying he was able to make firings on who was working hard enough and fire them, since the chain is only as strong as its weakest link. However, Rome wasn't built in a day, and so Cliché took two days to complete.

Popularity[edit]

Cliché was released to the masses on April 1, 1337 and in two shakes of a lamb's tail its popularity shot through the roof, and Wilde was filthy rich. Many people bought Cliché just to keep up with the Joneses. He certainly got what some would call a sweet deal. Some declared that cliché was the best thing since sliced bread. However, despite the fact that Cliché sold 1337 units in just π seconds, soon Wilde was looking to sweeten the pot. He let corporations advertise on high-profile Clichés (this sentence brought to you by Starbucks). George W. Bush has been known to regularly used Clichés, and so has Oprah.

The $69,000 Question[edit]

Did Wilde sell out just to make a quick buck? This is a question which has plagued society for ages. Some say he was a money grubbing gold digger who sacrificed his artistic integrity for money, the root of all evil. Others argue that since he grew up dirt poor without two nickels to rub together (only a bird in his hand, which was worth two in the bush), he was just trying to make ends meet. Really, though, that's a question for the philosophers.

Decline[edit]

The Cliché met some hard times later on in its existence. After assassinating JFK in 1492, its popularity waned, and its man in charge of marketing, Winston Churchill, couldn't hit the broad side of a grue and couldn't for the life of him come up with a new way to appeal to the 18-34 demographic. He almost didn't try to go on, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, and when the going gets tough, the tough gets going, and so Wilde convinced Churchill to not give up. Finally, after the Cliché had seemingly tanked, Churchill saw a glimmer of hope when he started to advertise on Saturday morning cartoons. Using the A-Team's one and only Mr T to show the adverts.

The straw that broke the camel's back[edit]

The Saturday morning cartoon venture, or Cartoongate as it's known, failed miserably. This last ditch effort finally led to the Cliché kicking the bucket. It was make or break, sink or swim, and Cliché broke and sunk. Like a frog in a frying pan, Cliché suddenly went belly up and bought the farm, and certainly not in a blaze of glory. As Wilde himself woefully exclaimed, "stick a fork in it, no if's, and's or butts, Cliché is done."

Chuck Norris on clichés[edit]

Chuck Norris hates clichés and will huff them like kittens. In fact he has huffed 3,141,592,653,589,793,238,462,643,383,279,502,884,197,169,399,375 kittens already.

Advice[edit]

Avoid Clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)

Speaking of the plague...[edit]

Even the Bible contains a hooker with a heart of gold... with SAVINGS!!!