“He made me laugh. He made me cry. Then he turned me into a lampshade for being gay”
Clown Hitler, also sometimes known as Ronald McDonald, was the secret love child of Hitler and Nurmal (son of Daniel Roome and Jamie Roome), conceived by science a month after Hitler's death. He was born on May 30, 1945, in Bad Gottleuba-Berggießhübel, Germany. Rather than being the perfection of his father (the scientists thought that a sense of humor was all the original Hitler lacked), Clown Hitler soon frustrated the scientist's plans by refusing to succeed his father in leading Germany.
Clown Hitler's Developing Career
Clown Hitler began writing a blog and working on a book, Mei Cough. Even though his blog was actually very funny, it never got much attention because Clown Hitler had such few friends. He also signed up for Facebook and MySpace page, but got just as little attention there because Clown Hitler would never post stupid pictures of his drunk antics or his burger making skills.
"i hate clowns.." - Adolf Hitler
Clown Hitler Finds Happiness
After spending years pursuing various careers, Clown Hitler eventually found happiness performing as a paedophile and adopted his current title, Clown Hitler. Originally he performed for the super adventure club, but then decided that he preferred to be booked for children's penises parties. He loves children. In the creepy way. Clown Hitler also reportedly found love in his common law partner, E.T. Most people find it odd that Clown Hitler chose E.T (Who was a female, in fact) as his bride, seeing as E.T is the creation of Steven Spielberge, renowned Jewish film director.
On 3rd September 2006 Clown Hitler and E.T. had a much publicised marital breakdown, with E.T. quoted in The Sun as saying "I can't go on living a lie. I always wanted to be a traditional wife, but Clown Hitler is always insistent that he take the role of the lady when we make love. I can't give him the cock he craves any longer". E.T. also acknowledged that, when Clown Hitler had previously stated "I want kids", he didn't mean that in the sense that he'd like to have a family, which was E.T.'s understanding at the time. He actually literally meant he wanted kids, and their sweet young asses - especially the boys.
On 6th March 2009 Clown Hitler was reportedly seen entering a hotel in Monte Carlo with Gay Mysterio, and the pair did not emerge until the next morning. It is speculated that Clown Hitler had mistaken Gay Mysterio for a supple young child due to him having the physical appearance and size of a preadolescent boy. The pair have since been spotted at the Broadway stage debut of Sex in The City - The Musical.
The Death of Clown Hitler
Some reports suggest that Clown Hitler died on 23rd August 2005 at a tea party after a horrific and bloody juggling disaster. This claim indicates that, having juggled 12 balls at once, Clown Hitler took an enormous personal risk in progressing to juggle with 13 balls. The 13 ball act proved to be more than Clown Hitler could handle as a loose ball became lodged in his throat. Suffocating and panicking, Clown Hitler fell and became impaled on a nearby broomstick. He was rushed to St. Adolf's Hospital but was pronounced dead at the scene due to blood loss.
An alternative report suggests that Clown Hitler had been engaging in an unusual sexual practice with the The Hamburglar at the time of his injury when the aforementioned broom was accidentally forced too far up his colon, ultimately killing him.
A broom stands by the grave of Clown Hitler to this very day to remind the world of the dangers of playing with broomsticks.