Clown hunters

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A clown before...
...and after extensive therapy.
These are the guys they want to take down

The Clown hunters are an elite unit of australian spy mercenaries.

The logo. Notice the flipped letter 'C', which is used to mock the clowns. It's rumored that the guys in the pic are gay, but nobody really knows, due to the accident involving the former president of the CH agency when he accidentally set the whole archive of the agency accidentally on fire while high on Emo cabbage.


Clown hunters are extremely stealthy people, who usually slip into 007-esque suit while they're not on a mission. The people are real stealth agents who even 007 can't be compared with. However, that doesn't mean you can't easily unmask a one of them. If you're even able to even spot a one in the corner of your eye (Not to talk about catching a one), that is. The marking they're easily distinguished by is the greek letter π (Pi... Most probably standing there for Piss , but no one really knows; Not even the hunters themselves!) tatooed on their left middle fingers, so if they flip you the birdie, you'll know who they are.

On duty[edit]

On duty, the clown hunters usually patrol cities at night (Alone, never in groups), when the most dangerous of clowns are loose - the ones pillaging graves and 50 Cent's candy shop. If a clown is spotted, the hunter usually picks the stealthy and aggressive method of approach. If that yields no success, the hunter will either call reinforcements or kill the clown on the spot. Many of the clown hunters prefer the first way. When captured, the clown is shipped to a top secret military facility where the scientists pick on him from dusk 'till dawn and try to find out what ticks those bozos off. Some rumours have also claimed that a certain number of clowns is even shipped to GWB's secret mansion in the Bahamas, to please the US president's sado-masochistic homosexual needs.

Notable events involving the hunters[edit]

Notable Foes[edit]

Ouchy the clown[edit]

This guy's a sadomasochist and a pain in the ass for the hunters. He's their biggest enemy, and obviously the strongest one. He has barely escaped death in 2 cases, both mentioned above:

Nothing about case #1 is known except nothing.

Case #2 was a more complicated operation, and has required indirect action from the hunters. Ouchy was lured into a stadium where the Emo-pop band, Green Day were rehearsing. (No - the 'music' the guys played did make his ears bleed, but it didn't kill him.) An agent has opened the stadium gate, hoping that the crowd of groupies/GD fangirls would run the clown over. However, Ouchy has sueccessfully evaded the attack by hiding behind the lead singer who (was)...

  • Raped;
  • Tentactle raped;
  • Stabbed;
  • Tentacle raped again;
  • Ripped open;
  • Turned inside out;
  • Got his heart sacrificed to Satan;
  • Raped;
  • Went trough a sado-masochistic sexual expirience with a japanese fangirl;
  • Had to listen Hilary Duff singing;
  • Raped;
  • Got trampled over by the big bad Fat goth;
  • ...

Ouchy has since been reported to have been wandering the jungles of Transylvania, and that he has been living on Emo cabbage.

Ronald McDonald[edit]

Certainly the most vile out of them all.

Ronald going through his Emo phase. Note the tomatoes which have absolutely nothing to do with this article.

After the promonarchistic revolution in Germany, in 1993 B.C., Ronald has been forced to step down from his position of the 'Fuhrer'. After doing so, he vanished. The CHs come into the picture here to find out where he is. After numerous bendings of time and space (Of which one of them has resulted in you getting born) the agents have finally suecceded to plant a microscopic bug onto Ronald's razor blade, which was the only thing he took with himself before disappearing (The photo to the right was shot only hours before he disappeared). The hunters, however, couldn't finish the job off (Since the time travelling has damaged the time and space continuum, allowing the agents' wives to cheat on their husbands and give birth to both physically and mentally retarded kids, so the guys had to deal with that issue), so they had to hand the control of the job to the cavemen a few citizens of the country which Ronald has ruled. The agents also left their time machine in the hands the citizens, but that resulted in havoc seeing how a group of kids randomly picked the number 2101, and kept slamming it into the control panel until large amounts of citizens started to walk around aimlessly, chanting 'All your base are belong to us'. It is now known that he is really The Joker in one of his many clever disguises.

Insane Clown Posse[edit]