There are considered to be two types of clown rape, the first being when you attend the circus as a child only to have your dreams fucked by the mere sight of grown men wearing makeup and silly outfits. The second is where a clown physically inserts him(or maybe her?)self into the anus of another individual. It is especially heinous when clown on clown rape occurs.
Is Clown Rape Acceptable?
Clown Rape is banned in some countries (not Germany), however in more forward thinking, liberal countries it is considered an acceptable practice. Even in England, due to a law passed in the 1300s that has yet to be receded, Clown Rape is still legal on the third Sunday of any month with a Full Moon providing not less than 2 people take part. In France, clown rape is carried out on a regular basis as long as it is approved by local government officials and hobos (although many find it hard to tell the difference). The issue has been in the media spotlight more than ever recently and has turned into a heated debate. There are two main schools of thought on the issue, both with very convincing arguments:
Pro Choice Arguments - Well, you should be able to choose if you get raped by a clown or not.
Pro Life Arguments - Your mum!!!
These issues are compounded when the clown is a hermaphrodite who rapes itself. Can it even be classified as rape? Who is the aggressor, and who is the victim? Is it a technical foul when the home team punts one through its own goalpost or simply desperation to score?
There have been rumors of making clown rape legal in all 50 states & in several territories, but like any other law, it's not in the books. Critics are suggesting to perform clown rape at your own discretion & if your caught performing it, it's a $1,000 fine, one day in jail, & a lifetime of getting hit with a cream pie laced with cyanide or getting your ass blown off the face of the earth with an exploding airbag inserted in your car.
Benefits of Clown Rape (as Opposed to Normal Rape)
There are many benefits to being raped by a clown or to raping whilst dressed-up as a clown. Among the obvious health benefits is the fact that clown rape is a cure for cancer. Clown rape victims also are told to have a 3 times better sense of eyesight than before the raping occured. Here are some other benefits:
- They have a constant smile making the experience either much more pleasurable or much more ingrained in your memory.
- When the police catch up with you, escape is provided by using your nose as a distractive tool.
- If the rape takes place in the back of a car, it is usually a clown car, making the rape much more amusing.
- A "squirty flower" can be filled with mace so that the victim cannot recognise the clown in a police line-up.
- It's a once in a life time experience, I mean how often do you get raped by a clown?
- A horn is a most effective tool to distract police & to make your escape after performing the Clown rape in a more faster & exillerating way.
- A clown outfit should be more useful in commiting Clown rape if it's soiled with a lot of make-up, beer, mustard, & jizz stains & is reeking with the smell of Jack Daniels & Vodka.
Gacey's holiday snaps
It is reported that Gacey himself was abused by his own father who dressed up as clown while his mother was out shopping. Gacey would go into a flying rage when the boys he was strangling would burst out laughing at him. Beware the real Gacey was never executed – he got a job as a clown – for McDonalds. Would you like a balloon? We all float down here Ge-orgy.
How to Commit Clown Rape
- Dress up like a circus clown.
- Do lots of c-c-c-c-c-c-cocaine! Make sure to share this fact with eveyrone in an eighties metal falsetto.
- Stalk your victim and place a banana peel in front of them.
- When on the floor begin the clown rape by sexual assault whilst telling a series of bad "knock knock" jokes.
- At the time of ejaculation throw a cream pie in the victim's face and honk your nose
- Make a quick getaway on a unicycle or other comical vehicle.
- Always use a pair of oversized big shoes, especially the Red ones, to hit & slap the victim during the process. Be sure they're springloaded to make a quick getaway.
- Always wears gloves as to not leave any prints from your overgrown fat sauseges during the Clown rape. Fingerless gloves are okay, but always use acetone on your fingertips.
- Work on your mentally retarded laugh and do it during the scene