Clubbing
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Clubbing is a compulsory form of national service in the UK for all 18-35 year olds. In addition to the life long skills clubbers can expect to gain in social reasoning, alcohol tolerance and liver failure; clubbing also helps keep British society in check by providing ample experience for Her Majesty's Police and the National Health Service.
Clubbing was discovered in Manchester in 1989. Clubbing coincided with the collapse of the German wall, and like Germans, clubbers don't talk about their dark history of pre-80s clubbing. The torment of ABBA and flares is however satirised in many prime international clubbing locations such as Nottingham and Leeds. Though the pain is too deep for even some endowed with the dark depths of British humour.
Clubbers often refer to 'living for the weekend' and might actually own a copy of Hard-Fi's first album to reflect the fact that they 'live for the weekend'. They also consider the Arctic Monkeys to be the height of guitar based music, their ability to play up to 3 different power chords resonates well with the stump minded fuckers who have a similar number of brain cells. Clubbers take drugs as a matter of course but lower class clubbers often binge drink themselves to excess because they 'are having a f*cking laugh'.
Those not seen to be 'having a laugh' are often stigmatised and sometimes offensively called 'cultured'.
Clubbers are often seen as outstanding moral citizens. Their commitment to clubbing inspires many inches of newspaper dribble and promotes solid social cohesion through the binding of urine, vomit and cottage chicken outlets across the British Isles.
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[edit] Clubbing Places
[edit] The North
The North is generally much better for clubbing excluding Scotland, because they are all poor up there and can barely string a sentence together. Excluding Newcastle too as that place is full of slags in white plastic platform heels and boys with shaved heads and funny accents. But Leeds and Manchester are the Clubbing Capitals of England, with clubs such as Warehouse Project, Sankeys, Mission and Victoria Works where young people are constantly off their tits basically 24/7 because of the party scene. The kids here also have funny accents, all of whom sound like extras out of Emmerdale, mid stroke. This is partly down to the drugs, partly down to the lack of education.
Leeds and Manchester both provide after hours clubs such as My House in Leeds which is infamous for it's Sunday Day time parties where everyone snorts around 2kg of ketamine and everyone ends up fucking each other at the same time.
[edit] The South
The South is a pile of shit for clubbing and has nothing to offer anyone whatsoever. It has one major club, Ministry of Sound, which is full of chinese and tourists taking pictures. It has hardly any drug use and if there are any drugs flying around they will cost you an arm and a leg... literally. Cheaper, lesser quality drugs, will only cost the shirt off your back.
All the rest of the clubs down there are for poncy fancy pants southerners and are full of high class glamour slags. See clubs such as Chinawhites or Funky Buddha; a load of shit basically.
[edit] Clubbing Capital
[edit] Ibiza
Ibiza is the clubbing capital of the world. Every year thousands flock to the white isle to get fucked more than they could ever imagine, both in mind and body, VD clinics then report unprecedented profits. See Ibiza for more.
