Cluepon

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Cluepon.

A small, dirty piece of recycled paper that is given to a person on the event that he or she does not know something. Accepted in most outlets of goods, and redeemable for precisely one 'Clue'. The precise definition of this Clue varies depending on source, and the quality of Clue redeemed can sometimes not be trusted to be true, and may also carry the Ebola Virus.

Its origins date back to Ancient Rome, when Julius Caesar was once seen handing one over to his brother Augustus, when the former had noted "But... July's not a month!". It must be noted that this Cluepon, although being the first historically noted, was already in a state of savage disrepair.

In fiction, original edits of the Sherlock Holmes series had, instead of the phrase "Elementary, my dear Watson", the following "Watson. Have the Cluepon".