J3R3M13, Ulrich, Yumi, and Odd (raping Kiwi)".
|What it is||Cartoon|
|Who's running it||Cartoon Network, France 3|
|How long is it||1337 Minutes|
|No. of episodes||1337|
|Would Oscar Wilde watch it?||Yes.|
Code Lyoko is a French cartoon (notice the Euros?) originally produced by a company called Antefilms, but after the first season mysteriously vanished and was replaced by Moonscoop. The show focuses on the lives of a bunch of kids who go to some school in France and fight a computer virus that mainly infects humans as opposed to computers.
The show takes place at a boarding school called Kadic Junior High. Despite the many times it has been shown that it's in France, some viewers still believe it is located somewhere else, such as Africa. This suspicion may come from the (lack of) black characters seen in the show.
One of the videogames based off the show, Code Lyoko: Cragging of X.A.N.A., takes place in a weird parallel planet called the Volcano Replika. This Replika is inside a Superdeeduper computer hidden aboard the Death Star, disguised as an astromech droid.
A normal plot for a Code Lyoko episode is the powerful virus called XANA infecting the real world, taking control of objects and people to insure danger and chaos. The five main characters then jump into a computer, blasting friendly virtual animals to deactivate a glowing red castle. Then they turn back time to make sure no one remembers what happened, and try to get actual computer experts to help them stop the supercomputer.
The main story of Code Lyoko begins in 1912 when a hobo in France named Franz Hopper found a time machine and went to 2233 and managed to discover a superdeedupercomputer being sold at Best Buy, which he promptly stole and went to the year 1974 and began trying to make a virtual world where he could raise virtual fluffy creatures and live in a gigantic glowing blue castle. He then met a Japanese woman who he promptly mated with and created a pink haired child named Aelita, and a better forgotten son. Once his virtual world was finished, the government was pissed off and tried to arrest him, and successfully arrested his wife for paranoia of more pink children. He and his daughter then escaped to this virtual world where they were then attacked by aliens. Aelita turned into a pink elf and hid in one of the castles while Franz slept in a bubble. His son, XANA, decided to be a rebel after being neglected for the whole of his life. He took his anger out on the world, forcing Franz to turn off the superdeedupercomputer to save the world by trapping XANA inside. Unfortunately he also had to trap his favorite pink child, making both his children sleep in a coma for a decade until a too-curious nerd was introduced into the plot. The nerd soon realized the danger of waking XANA from his coma, but could not shut down the computer because of his unusual affection for the pink elf. He promised himself that he would soon free the fantasy girl from his video game dreams.
- Jeremie- A 1337 H4X0R. He operates the Superdeeduper computer in a old abandoned warehouse factory near their school. He fell in love with a virtual pink elf named Aelita, and stayed up every god damn night to bring her to the real world. He first found the factory when he was looking for parts to build weapons of mass destruction to send to Iraq. Played by James Rolfe.
- Ulrich- A German kid. In the real world, he appears just to be some normal boring bastard, but when he goes to Lee's Yolk-O's, he becomes an ass-kicking Ninja. He is also secretly dating Yumi. He also avoids questions about his personal life because he's a bastard who has no emotions. Sissi attempts to rape him on a daily basis. Played by a more boring version of an ass-kicking ninja
- Yumi- Ulrich's girlfriend, though she denies it. She said to Ulrich that she just wants to be friends, but don't be fooled; she and Ulrich are doing each other and are just lying so Milly and Tamiya don't put an article in the school paper about it because Yumi is a year older. She has been shown to be able to kick ass and break windows with her large forehead. In Season 13, she beat the shit out of her little brother and blamed it on XANA. She commonly cusses out her teachers in Japanese, as she speaks it and originally lived there. She loves showing people her bellybutton. Played by Your mom.
- Odd- The transvestite of the group. He constantly wears pink and purple, and has a weird ass hairdo similar to Jimmy Neutron's. He has had sex with just about every girl in the school. He promised never to have sex with Aelita or Yumi, due to the fact that Ulrich and Jeremie threatened to shank him if he did (though he ended up having sex with Aelita anyways because we all know that Jeremie can't shank a damn fly). He is rumored to be bisexual despite this fact. Odd has to pretend to be Aelita's cousin so she can attend school since she has no family. Played by Chris Crocker.
- Aelita- An pink-haired elf chick the kids found on Lyoko. Jeremie fell in love with her and eventually brought her to the real world. She was eventually discovered to be human, except for a lack of a vagina. They later got her one. Jeremie is dating her, which pisses off Herb because everyone can get a freakin' girl but him. In Season 13, it was revealed that she is Link's sister. She is discovered to be lesbian later in the series, and does any step necessary to sleep with Yumi. In 2043 she joined a band that went on to sell 1337 albums in a day, Played by Hayley Williams.
- William-Added in Season 2 after he was expelled from his previous school for causing a massacre. He is known to be very emo. Notably sold by Ulrich to XANA for a packet of biscuits. In 2426 he launched a solo album of limited success. While under XANA's control, he had multiple seizures, and got gang raped by Milly and Tamiya. Played by Bob Saget.
- Sissi- The anorexic retarded whore of the school. She claims that there's no guy in school who doesn't want to fuck her. She has been known to try to rape Ulrich, wanting to kill Yumi which she actually tried to do, but Yumi, being Japanese unleashed her Asian fury and kicked her ass. Sissi also sells blowjobs for $5 behind the gym. Played by Miley Cyrus.
- Jim- The bitchy fatass gym teacher. He has also been known to be a douche on several occasions, and has had over nine thousand jobs, 99% of which he was forced to never speak of again. Played by Jack Black.
- Jean-Pierre Dumbass- The principal, who is also Sissi's dad. He runs the shithole of a school where the grown-ups are uselessly expendable lunatics who could give less of a damn about the safety of the students. Played by You.
- Mrs.Hertz- The crazy ass science teacher. She once was calm and kind, but all the children at Kadic drove her bat fuck insane and she started doing acid and smoking weed, and got even crazier to the point when she a sploded, but came back to life in the form of a truck.
- Yolanda- The school nurse. She is shown to be clueless about everything. In season 1, her name was Dorothy, but she changed it to Yolanda so her Nigerian pimp wouldn't find out about her move to France. Played by Drew Barrymore
- CD-i Link- The character only lasted for 1 episode. His first scene was in Episode 1, where he was prompty killed by the giant Rayquaza doll 3 seconds later. Played by Nick Jonas.
- Milly and Tamiya- They show you what news reporters look like as kids. Milly has been known to have a Rayquaza doll. Tamiya can only say her name, (sound familiar?). Played by Donald Trump and Timmy, respectively.
- Kiwi- Odd's pet alien dog. The school rules say you can't have pets, but Odd got pissed off and snuck in his alien dog in his arse. Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Herb and Some Guy you Don't know- Sissi's bitches. Herb has reccuring dreams of fucking Sissi and killing Ulrich, while Some Guy You Don't Know, has proven to be retarded. Played by Howard Stern and Some stoner.
- XEROXana- The former president of Xerox, who got fired and went into a deep depression, then becoming a hacker and fucking stuff up. The group think's he's bat fuck insane and he's some 32 year old fat dude living in his mother's basement living off of orange soda and beef jerky. Played by Kel Mitchell.
- Hiroki-Yumi's annoying bratty little brother, who was brutally murdered by Yumi in episode 666, "This is SPARTA!" when he sold photos of Yumi and Ulrich having sex. Played by Youngjisue.
- Caillou-Was brutally killed within his first second of being onscreen.
- Barney the Dinosaur-The guy who killed Caillou. Was beheaded by Jeremy with the Sword of Haxxor when he couldn't take any more of that dumbass song.
Episodes of the Show so far only have 4 seasons, but those bastards at Cartoon Network were too lazy to air the last 1240 episodes. That could be because the Current Cartoon Network sucks balls, thanks to a jackass who corrupted the channel.
- 1. Teddy Hulk - Milly throws a temper tantrum and a splodes when Jim takes away her condoms and her Plush Incredible Hulk doll, which gets possessed by XANA and goes around smashing the city on the night of Kadic's school dance.
- 2. Seeing Porn is Believing- The kids try to start a rap band, but all the contestants suck. Then they realize that Some Guy You Don't Know is pretty damn good at the drums, and let him in. But then Homer Simpson had an accident at the Nuclear Power Plant, and the kids have to go to Lee's Yolk-O's and save the day, or they're all screwed.
- 3. Holiday with the Fag- Jeremie and Ulrich put graffiti of Jim masturbating on a wall, and Jim catches them, so he's all pissed and makes Jeremie stay at school during break. Meanwhile, Xana posses some skunks, and they all..well...you figure it out.
- 4. Lag Book- Sissi find's Ulrich's diary and reads about all his fantasies involving Yumi. She threatens to tell everyone unless he becomes her bitch. But then the bus going to a school field trip gets all drunk and fucked up, and the kids all agree it's the stoner bus.
- 5. Big Cock- Xana has hacked into the internet and is slowly but surely deleting every site and vandalising Wikipedia. So the kids get all pissed and RV his edits and get blocked for Violating 3RR, then they must stop Osama Bin Laden from crashing two nuclear trains together to make matters worse.
- 6. Gruel Dillema- Odd trips and slams his head on Jeremie's keyboard, nearly materializing Aelita. Also, some bulldozers fuck up the school. But then, when the kids go to Lee's Yolk-O's, they must use the materialization to save Yumi after Ulrich threatens to commit suicide if Yumi isn't saved.
- 7. Camera Error- Yumi gets her spirit stolen by Xana, then at the hospital she beats the shit out of the nurse, then back at school she nearly kills the principal with a phone, then tries to rape Jeremie. The kids and faculty all agree that she's all fucked up and possibly drunk or high and try to arrest her for underage drinking and possession of illegal drugs. Then they have to own the noobs in Lee's Yolk- O's and save the real Yumi, who beats the shit out of the fake Yumi.
- 8. End of the Rake-The principal shows a movie about Sex Ed, and then the director says there's going to be a sequel filmed at the factory. Jeremie gets all freaked out and has a heart attack and a splodes, then Sissi demands to get the lead part, just for a monster prop to get possesed by XANA and try to rape Sissi and Ulrich.
- 9. War in Iraq- During class, everybody's cell phone goes off, and the teachers get all freaked out and think it's a bomb. The kids figure out that Verizon Wireless is possessed by XANA and fucking everything up, so they fix it.
- 10. The Hoe of the Dreams- Some new girl comes to school and Jeremie thinks it's Aelita, so he promptly rapes her, only to get his ass kicked, so he thinks she's drunk and forgot who she is. Meanwhile, XANA possesses Samurai Jack, who came to the school to challenge Yumi. Guest Star Jackie Chan.
- 11. Use Floss- A couple rats get possessed by Xana, then they rapidly reproduce, making millions of goddamn rodents. Since there aren't any cats to be all cool and kick ass at Kadic (Pets are banned, and Odd's the only rebel), the kids are screwed. Meanwhile, some dude thinks Jeremie is bat fuck insane and tries to send him to the happy house.
- 12. Bohrok Swarming Attack- After Xana fails and gets told he fails, they get pissed and posses some bionicle sets. Meanwhile, Ulrich gets photo shopped nude pics of Yumi from Sissi, claiming they're from Yumi, so he gets all horny and tries to get in bed with Yumi.
- 13. Justin Timberlake- The school gets all fucked up and a splodes, so everyone's all like "WTF?", then while Jim says it's an earthquake, the kids find out XANA decided to be a bastard and blow up the school with equipment he stole from terrorists, but meanwhile, Odd is being raped by Milly and Tamyia.
- 14. The Rap-Since it's Aelita's Birthday, they try to make a cake in MS Paint, but Sissi comes and fucks it up. Then they go to the factory, and Sissi stalks them, only for XANA to posses the factory and break the elevator, breaking Ulrich's arm, to which Ulrich's family attempts to sue XANA, but the court case was dropped as artificial intelligences cannot be put in prison in France.
- 15. Laughing Pit- Yumi's mom catches Yumi's dad on eHarmony, and gets all pissed and won't believe it was a pop-up, making Yumi even more emo. Meanwhile, Xana possesses some laughing gas and makes it a splode, but the kids know the only cure is to piss on someone, so yeah...
- 16. Santa Claustrophobia- During a soccer game, Ulrich and Odd pwn Sissi's team, so she's all pissed and tries to kill her bitches, when some dude arrives and Sissi promptly rapes him, and that pisses her bitches off, who then plan to kill him. Then Xana possesses Pikachu and makes him electrify the cafeteria walls. Guest star Pikachu.
- 17. Ammonesia- In class, XANA infects some machinery and uses them to shoot some weird substance at Ulrich. Later on, he suddenly a splodes. When he awakens, his memory is gone, and Sissi convinces him she's his wife, but meanwhile, he gets all bitchy with his friends and they determine he's stoned and try to find his drugs.
- 18. Rick Roll- XANA infects everyone's iPod so it only plays Rick Astley's song Never Gonna Give You Up , thusly putting everyone into a coma from being Rick ROlled. Odd is the first victim. Then XANA infects iTunes, YouTube, and music sharing websites, so everyone is screwed.
- 19. Front Tire-While Jeremie is playing on Xbox Live, Aeltia calls in and he accidentally calls her a "sukass n00b", pissing her off. When he tries to go to Lee's Yolk-O's, he a splodes and is presumed dead, but then he reincarnates as Squanto, but when Squanto is killed by Billy Mays, he reincarnates as Jeremie again, and the group thinks they were having a hangover.
- 20. Megas - When Coop, Jamie, and Kiva come to France on vacation, they end up leaving Megas in the school, and it gets possessed by XANA and tries to kill everyone. Meanwhile, Sissi tries to kill Herb after she catches him stalking her.
- 21. Green Hill Zone- During a school soccer game, Sonic appears and has them play in Green Hill Zone, only for XANA to take away gravity and send it to Mars. Then they're screwed. Ulrich lives but his father a splodes and dies. Guest Star Sonic.
- 22. Boobtine- Ulrich gets sick and tired of beating the shit out of Xana and would rather just sit on his ass all day, and he also starts worrying that Yumi is pregnant. Later, instead of deactivating the tower, Ulrich and Yumi nearly have sex on Lyoko until Aelita cockblocks them.
- 23. Bikini Bottom- The kids have a field trip to Bikini Bottom after all the girls have their period, only for Xana to possess SpongeBob Squarepants, so some chick steals a laptop from the local Wal-Mart. Oh, and after a while, they lose their breath and drown.
- 24. Danny Phantom- Jeremie has a dream where everyone dies and their ghosts are bat fuck insane. When he wakes up he realized that he's soiled himself (again). Guest Star You.
- 25. Coke on Earth- Aelita begins to go into the real world, but meanwhile Jim's brain cells begin working and he gets suspicious of the kids. He nearly kills Jeremie and instead gets fired, so he becomes a hobo and lives in the factory.
- 26. Screwed up Start- Aelita comes to earth, only for Jeremie to discover that Xana infects Aelita with some antivirus so they can't shut down their computer or she'll transform into Barney The Dinosaur. Aelita tries to lose her virginity to Jeremie, but they discover she does not have a vagina, and must give her surgery to get her one.
- 27. New Hoe- After Jeremie discovers Aelita does not have a vagina, he tries to make a program that will make her one so they can have sex. Once she gets one at last, and she loses her virginity to Jeremie. He also gets the kids some vehicles and stuff. Meanwhile, they have to go on a field trip, and Ulrich thinks Yumi is screwing a punk kid named William, who was expelled from his last school for causing a massacre. Then they get trapped inside Luigi's Mansion, then XANA possesses the mansion, and traps Yumi and Ulrich inside the boiler room, forcing both of them to get naked or they'll die. Meanwhile, Micheal Jackson tries to kidnap Aelita, somehow thinking she is a little boy. Guest starring Michael Jackson
- 28. Unfarted Territory- While Aelita discovers a whole bunch of cool shit on earth, like porn, video games, and kicking people's ass, Jeremie and the others investigate the mysterious owner of Luigi's Mansion, Heinz Hopper, his link to the Superdeedupercomputer, Lee's Yolk O's, and XEROXana.
- 29. Sexploration-After discovering Hyrule, the group decides to explore it, but Yumi can't because her parents find out about her late-night adventures.
- 30. A Pretty Damn Good Day-After taking another trip to Hyrule and returning to the school, Aelita talks to Jeremie about being a virtual elf, not knowing Sissi is on Stickam and has everything recorded. Meanwhile, the Minutemen are possesed by XANA and fuck some stuff up.
- 31. Mister Fuck- When Aelita's whining about her nightmares become to god damn annoying to ignore, the group heads to Luigi's Mansion to find the source. Aelita finds a wodden doll she recognizes as Geno, and hidden on it is a keyblade, and it has the dairy of Heinz Hopper. So XANA burns it.
- 32. Shitty Valentines Day-It's Valentines Day and the scent of Cum is in the air. When a dude possesed by XANA leaves condoms at Aelita's door, she thinks Jeremie got them for her. Since he didn't, he's pissed off and suspects it's Odd, and Jeremie tries to kill him. Meanwhile her necklace a splodes, causing her to be possessed by XANA.
- 33. Final Chex Mix-When the school has a concert, William accidentally starts a mosh pit. Odd joins in and gets horny. Aelita then stops it, and is elected president of France.
- 34. Missing Zelda- On a mission to Hyrule, Yumi is attacked by XANA. He steals her code and posts it on YouTube. Then they try to get Sissi to turn into Yumi, but all that fails, so Jeremie puts a copyright claim on XANA's video to bring Yumi back.
- 35. The Chips Ahoy! Are down-When Ulrich finds out Yumi might have to go back to Japan, he becomes emo. after a failure of an attempt to send a letter to George W. Bush, he enters the lottery and wins, and uses the money to keep Yumi at Kadic. Then XANA possesses Some guy you don't know.
- 36. Marapoonta-After reading Heinz Hopper's diary, Jeremie creates a bunch of everlasting diarreah that spreads all over Lyoko. Xana gets pissed and teams up with the others to destroy it and beat the shit out of Jeremie.
- 37. Common Incest-When the superdeedupercomputer's urinal stops working, XANA possesses some rapist dude to replace it. Somehow he is linked to Aelita, so when he gets shot, she gets shot.
- 38. Ketchuptation-After XANA attacks, Jeremie demands they go back to the past and play the shitty games that suck ass. When he gets questioned, he has a temper tantrum and a splodes. He is then sent to a mental facility where he is forced to stay there for mental evaluations.
- 39. A Bad Burn- Ulrich tries to kill William after William tries to have sex with Yumi. Then, for no apparent reason the kids get driving lessons (despite how the legal age for driving in France is 18, and these kids are all around 14 or so), and Williams a good driver while Ulrich sucks ass at driving. Then XANA materializes one of its monsters and it rapes Youngjisue.
- 40. Resident Evil-Xana possesses Odd's pet dog and it turns everyone into zombies and shit. Then William morphs into Bruce Willis. Guest Star Leon Kennedy.
- 41. Ultimatedumdum- The XANA-possessed Principal kidnaps Odd and Yumi, causing both families to file an Amber Alert, and everyone's on the lookout, so he traps Odd and Yumi at the produce area at Costco for a while.
- 42. A Fine Shit-Somehow Xana manages to cause Odd and Yumi to switch bodies, then Odd starts fucking everybody in the school while in Yumi's body, and eventually comes to school naked, so Yumi, in Odd's body, comes out of the closet.
- 43. Xana's Fuck-Xana creates a ghost that can turn into anybody, and uses it to get everyone in the group pissed off at eachother by fucking people, causing all sorts of high school drama! OHMIGAWD!
- 44. Very Trashy Goat- After going to Hyrule, Jeremie finds the right medicine to cure Aelita's swine flu, which will free her from the superdeedupercomputer. It fails in the end.
- 45. Cold Whore Al Gore- Xana gets pissed off at how crowded the nude beaches are during the summer. So he possesses Al Gore and uses him to cause reverse Global Warming, so he can have the beach all to himself. Meanwhile, Matt Lauer visits the school. Guest stars Al Gore and Matt Lauer.
- 46. Wet Dream- Aelita keeps waking up every night after having erotic dreams about being raped by Bill Clinton and the Secret Service. Aelita has one of the dreams while at the pool, and falls in and almost drowns. She is saved by being sucked into the drain at the bottom of the pool, and being dumped out in the alley behind Burger King. Guest starring Bill Clinton.
- 47. AIDS - Captain Planet comes to the school to talk to the kids about AIDS and help everyone get tested. XANA manages to make it seem like Aelita has AIDS so everyone will think she's contagious and will give it to everyone, and she is almost sentenced to death until Captain Planet saves the day... Then is shot and a return to the past happens.
- 48. Sissi Satanist- Sissi invites Ulrich to join her underground cult of satanists. He briefly joins the group in the school basement for a human sacrifice. When they are joined by Satan they all run off, and hide in the dumpster outside the school, where they spoon. Guest starring Tom Cruise.
- 49. Franz MOTHERFUCKING Hopper- Franz Hopper comes to the factory to discuss the dangers of: scanners, cell phones, cheese burgers, being emo, and touching yourself. He reveals that doing these things causes you to get: cancer, AIDS, herpes, infertility, and lollipop disease. After learning that she has all 5, Yumi tries to commit suicide but fails. She realizes that she will die before the series ends, until she finds out Franz Hopper is a lying douche, who is full of crap, and Jeremie manages to murder Franz Hopper's ghost with his obnoxious laugh.
- 50. Sexual Contact- After watching a movie that Odd made, Sissi develops brain damage and starts speaking in a shitty language. She tries to rape Jeremie, but is stopped by Jim. Later that night, she sneaks into Jeremie's room and violates him repeatedly. Meanwhile Xana creates a white tower, cause he's tired of red ones.
- 51. Cross Dresser Odd gets an invite to meet with a girl he's been chatting with online. He visits her, but it turns out to be Jim who was cross dressing. (I know what you're thinking, but NO they did NOT have sex.) Meanwhile Ulrich gets a more badass clone that he then fights.
- 52. The Keyblade After reading Franz Hopper's diary. Jeremie discovers that he had been using time travel to go back in time and steal priceless artifacts from all of the great eras. Aelita, becoming depressed when Jeremie becomes obsessed with Hopper and is too busy to have sex with her, tries to commit suicide by shutting down the computer. However, Odd comes and turns on the computer wanting to play World of Warcraft and Aelita is returned to life. The group travel to Lyoko to try and find the Keyblade that they had lost. Xana then reveals that there are 2 Keyblades in existence, one in his possession, and the other in Aelita's. Xana then steals Aelita's Keyblade and uses it to open the door to the closet of Lyoko, and comes out of it. Xana then kills Aelita and escapes to Youtube.com where he goes into hiding. The group just restarts the computer and thus brings Aelita back to life. Guest star Jade Curtiss
- Nappy Time is OVER: Part I In the prequel to Code Lyoko, Jeremie runs off to an abandoned factory to try and find a place to cry. While there, he finds a Superdeeduper Computer. When he turns it on he meets a elf girl that he names "Bronx Mowgli". At the same time, Xana awakens from his thousand year slumber and is ready to totally fuck up peoples lives.
- Nappy Time is OVER: Part II After a week of playing computer non-stopped, Jeremie soon grows bored of Mowgli and the Superdeeduper Computer. He then decides to go back to school where he meets Ulrich, along with Odd, and Yumi. Jeremie, not having any social skills, drugs them, and drags them back to the factory to meet Mowgli, who suddenly remembers, her name is Aelita. Waking up on Lyoko, Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi, kick Aelita's ass, until they discover its even more fun to kick Xana's. They soon return to the real world, and all agree that they won't shut down the computer, until they can find some way to bring Aelita to the real world.
- 53. Straight to Pussy- Summer break is over, and all the kids are back at school. Yumi keeps trying to tell Ulrich something, but everyone keeps getting in the way. When they finally talk, Yumi reveals that she is pregnant.Meanwhile, Sissi ASPLODES.
- 54. Lord, I Hate Math - While on a class trip, Yumi gets attacked by the rest of her class, after finding out that she slept with everyone and their mothers. At the same time, Xana finds a nuke and starts playing with it. But while snipping random wires, he accidently destroys the Forest Sector.
- 55. Katrina Again-a- Xana repossesses Al Gore, and forces him to recreate Hurricane Katrina in Lyoko, as well as blow up the levees. Instead of helping out the group, Odd and Aelita go to Sector 5, and do each other. Guest Starring Al Gore.
- 56. M.I.B.- Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith come to bust Jeremie, when they find out, he has stolen all of the world's pornography, and refuses to give it back. Xana, outraged by this, possesses them, and uses their night sticks to beat him till he gives the world back its sweet, sweet, porn. Guest Starring Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith.
- 57. Bitch- Aelita and Odd go off to Lyoko without telling anyone, to have cyber sex (Hey, they are in Lyoko after all), which causes problems with them and the rest of the group. Meanwhile, Xana attempts to give Lyoko a heart transplant, until he realizes, he isn't a doctor, at which point, he runs and hides in a week old pizza box, and leaves Lyoko to bleed to death. Jeremie also discovers some of Aelita's father's DNA, and discovers that her father is actually Bill Clinton.
- 58.Alfred Hitchcock- XANA watches the Hitchcock film "The Birds" and goes bat fuck insane. He then possesses bunch of birds to kill Yumi. Instead she is hit by a drunk guy driving an ambulance and Jeremie launches a return to the past.
- 59. Secret Sex- XANA possesses Osama Bin Laden to nuke the factory. Meanwhile, Yumi is pissed off at William after he films her stripping at the pool.
- 60. Bat Fuck Insane- XANA removes Odd and Ulrich's brain cells, causing them to go to the happy house. Ulrich later suicide bombs the mental hospital and is sent to hell, where he is tortured by Satan, who happens to be Sissi.
- 61. Vine Rape- XANA rapes Yumi using vines and fucks up things on Lyoko, so now there's only the Mountain sector and Sector 5.
- 62. Nobody Atall - Mrs. Hertz thinks Ulrich is Dee Dee Dee, so he's placed in special ed classes, until Jim bribes her with sex if Ulrich can stay in his class. Guest Star Danny Phantom
- 63. Three Fuck-ups- Odd masters Ulrich's Triplicate power in real life and fucks everything up.
- 64. Double Bubble- The group makes the mistake of picking another Lyoko warrior. Initially they choose Ronald McDonald to join them. But then settle on William because he is (slightly) less of a douche. Guest starring Ronald McDonald.
- 65. Final Countdown- William goes to Lyoko, and fucks some stuff up. Is then possessed by XANA. Oops, spoilers? Well too bad.
- 66. William's Bitch- William returns from Lyoko, then goes crazy and beats the shit out of everyone, and kidnaps Aelita and takes her swimming where she almost drowns. In a side story, Sissi is elected President of the United States. Guest starring Barack Obama.
- 67. Master Shake- In order to compensate for his small penis, Jeremie creates a clone of himself with a dick the size of Mt. Everest. Meanwhile William goes on a rampage in downtown Tokyo. Guest starring The Aqua Teens.
- 68. Chris Crappy- Jim's nephew Chris Crocker comes to Kadic looking for some young girl to be friends with. He goes to Lyoko with the gang where he's seen constantly screaming at Xana: "LEAVE AELITA ALONE!!" "LEAVE ULRICH ALONE!!" "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!" Guest starring Chris Crocker.
- 69. William My Love- Jeremie angers God once again, this time by creating a clone of William. Jeremie has gay butt sex over and with William, until William's anus is completely obliterated, or as Jeremie put it: "I ripped up your anus somethin' bad there. Ga-hilt, ga-hilt." Meanwhile Sissi runs for reelection.
- 70. Yellow Submarine- After listening to The Beatles for a little too long, Jeremie builds a yellow submarine and goes on a massive drug trip. He goes to Lyoko on his submarine where he gets his dick ripped off by Jaws. Guest starring Jaws, and Steven Speilberg.
- 71. Rozen Maiden- After regrowing a new penis, Jeremie decides to take the gang out on a little fishing trip. But things go horribly wrong when Jeremie gets drunk and starts whipping Aelita with an electric eel. Meanwhile, Xana starts building his own fast food chain called Xana's Spit and Swallow Family Restaurant.
- 72. F-ing Idiots- Jeremie decides to teach Odd how to use the superdeedupercomputer, so he can become the new Jeremie if anything should happen to him. Unfortunately, Jeremie forgot that all Odd knows how to do is download porn. Soon the group returns to Lyoko to find a bunch of naked transvestites running around. Meanwhile, Aelita replaces Gerard Way as the lead singer for My Chemical Romance. The band breaks up two hours later. But not before Xana can send a Agent Smith to become the band's producer, and create such hit songs as "The Big Bad Emo (Is a Pussy)", "Famous Last Birds (Flipping You the Bird)", and "Boulevard of Broken Dreams (No, Seriously, We Wrote That Song, Those Asswipes, Green Day Just Stole it From Us... Pussies!)". Guest starring My Chemical Romance.
- 73. Tease the Shippers- The group travel to Xana's restaurant, and upon eating there all get violent diarrhea, except for Odd, who was too busy jacking off to eat. The group decides to spend the rest of the day on Lyoko, since the toilets in Lyoko are 10 times bigger than normal ones. Meanwhile, Nicolas Cage decides to come to the factory for no apparent reason. Odd and Aelita distract him by having sex in the elevator while the rest of the group (except Jeremie, who loves to watch) escape. Guest starring Nicolas Cage.
- 74. O M G! P I G!- Jeremie being the dick that he is, tells the rest of the group, they aren't as strong, buff, muscular, awesome, sexy, and delicious as he is. He forces them to go train in the middle of the forest, where Jim just happens to be climbing a tree... naked. After the group recovers from their blindness, they are attacked by a pig with the Swine flu. Jeremie gets eaten by the pig, and everyone else lives happily ever after.
- 75. Meteor- Jeremie accidently sticks his copy of Final Fantasy VII into the superdeedupercomputer. With the newfound power of the game, Xana summons Meteor to rain down upon
MidgarKadic. Yumi has a great idea how to stop the meteor though. She hooks her cell phone up to a lap top, up to a antenna, which is being powered by a car battery, which runs on lemonade. They then play a game of Astroids and try to shoot down the meteor. Guest starring Johnny 5.
- 76. Swimming Lessons- Jeremie decides to take the gang to a deserted island. While there, he decides to give the gang "swimming lessons". He tosses them into the ocean one by one and see who can swim back to shore alive. Meanwhile, Xana in an uncharacteristic action, saves the group from Jeremie, and shoots his ass back to hell. Here Aelita finds out she is lesbian, because she saw Yumi strip off her swimsuit when all this was over, and she liked it.
- 77. Kill Book- Hiroki, Yumi's younger brother steals her notebook. It is later revealed that this notebook is none other than the Death Note. Ulrich beats Hiroki up (because he likes beating on little kids) and finds the Death Note. He uses it to kill William, Jeremie, Aelita, Jeremie, Jim, Jeremie, Arthur, Jeremie, Mr. Rogers, Jeremie, and Jeremie. Later Yumi, while searching for her notebook, gets trapped in the Titanic and drowns. Later still, Hiroki changes his name to Ryuk and gives Light the Death Note. Guest starring Light Yagami.
- 78. Rouge the Bat- Jeremie gets bored of sending people to Lyoko, and decides to send Odd and Aelita to South Africa instead. They are then eaten by a lion almost immediately. Meanwhile, Xana is building an army Poo-Chis and Furbys, so he can take over Toys Я Us. Guest starring Rouge the Bat.
- 79. Odd Viva La Douche- Odd bets Ulrich that he can go twenty four hours without masturbating. This is made all the harder when Xana sends an army of Terminator Sluts to kill him. While trying to destroy the Superdeedupercomputer Xana built in the last episode, Aelita, (who is possessed by
SatanXana) gets totally naked in an attempt to get Odd to masturbate. It doesn't work though, and Odd carries out his mission and destroys the Superdeedupercomputer by overloading it with too much virus laced porn he got off of Limewire. When he gets back from Lyoko, he immediately starts jacking off, and sprays cum all over his friends. It should be noted this scene was left out of the American release.
- 80. Dog Sex Afternoon- Odd gets bored one day, and he decides to have sex with Kiwi. However, when Odd tries to pull his dick out of Kiwi's ass, he can't manage to get it out. He hides Kiwi in his pants and decides to go to Lyoko, anyway. While there, he and Kiwi combine into a single being, known as, Goofy. Jeremie quickly reverses the process, but not before pointing out that these episodes have been getting really dirty lately. (Probably because the creators knew the series was gonna end soon and they just said "fuck it!" to moral decency.) Guest starring Goofy.
- 81. A Lack Of Goodyear (Tires)-Jeremie reveals to everyone, that the William clone he built, is none other than the son of Xana. Miley Cyrus overhears the entire conversation and follows the group the factory. Meanwhile the real William comes back to kill Jeremie, but kills Miley instead. Guest starring Miley Cyrus, in her final appearance.
- 82. Christmas With The Craps- It's Christmas time in France (but no where else in the world), and the entire group decides they want to go home to spend Christmas with their families. So they leave Aelita behind in the abandoned school. Aelita quickly goes bat fuck insane, with only her doll, and Odd's dead dog to play with. She thinks she gets a text message from her father, telling her to come to Lyoko. She runs to Lyoko. But when she arrives she is SHOCKED to find out Xana is having a Christmas party and everyone was invited except her. She then commits suicide by jumping into the digital sea.
- 83. (Not So) Hard Luck- Odd breaks his cock, and a series of unfortunate events seem to follow him wherever he goes. This is especially frequent on Lyoko, where Odd randomly appears in and out of different universes, including Candy Mountain. This is soon fixed though, when Odd puts a bandaid on his cock... but not before ripping Jeremie's off to see if it fit him. (It didn't.)
- 84. Hot Shots- Jeremie wins a chance to fight for freedom flying jets in Iraq. However, while flying his jet, Jeremie gets possessed by Xana. Xana uses the jet to nuke Osama bin Laden to hell. The group finds the entire episode to be too unPC, and subsequently goes back in time to prevent this.
- 85. From Russia With Love... Also, Communism- Sissi's friend from Russia comes to visit France (only God knows why). She dates Odd, while having sex with him from time to time in exchange for cash and booze. Odd takes her to the factory to have sex, again. But once there she discovers the Superdeedupercomputer and uses it's power to rebuild the Soviet Union. Surprisingly, the gang doesn't preform a return to the past.
- 86. Yes, It's a Dog Episode- Everyone gets pissed off after Kiwi takes a dump all over their shoes, so they force him to live in the factory like a common hobo. For no reason at all Xana possesses a bunch of Kiwi robots (Yay! Season 1 reference!), and makes them go around doing bad things. The group then beats up the robots and decide they like the real Kiwi better... but not by much.
- 87. A David Bowie Song- Odd leaves Kiwi with Yumi's parents - not realizing they're Asian, and will probably eat him - so that he can go become an astronaut. While up in Spacelab, Odd breaks the toilet and floods the place, killing everyone aboard. Odd manages to escape somehow, and travels back to Earth to find Yumi's dad, did in fact eat, Kiwi... but not the dog, he ate some actual Kiwi.
- 88. Cousin From Another Series- Jeremie's cousin, Patrick comes to visit, which causes Jeremie to fall into a deep depression, because he believes Patrick is way more "badass" than he is. Which it turns out is true, because anyone is more badass than Jeremie. Patrick fucks Sissi, and the rest of the cast, and kills Xana all within one day. Jeremie gets pissed and goes back in time to prevent Patrick from ever being born. This causes the Nazis to win WWII as well as causes The Simpsons to get canceled after only one season, thus preventing every other cartoon in history to cease to exist as well. Jeremie pulls a Back to the Future, and makes everything right again, though. Guest starring Patrick Star.
- 89. The AELITALS Aelita creates her own band, named, The Aelitals. With Aelita as the lead vocalist, Odd and Ulrich on guitar, and Jeremie on drums, they were a smash hit. That is until Aelita became political with her universally despised album, God Fuck America, God Fuck Earth, which contained such lyrics as:
”The government wants me to sing 'God Bless America', but that ain't the song that's in my heart. My song goes a-something like this; I said, no, no, no, not God Bless America, yes, yes, yes, God damn fuck America! We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, we did it 'cause our prez-id-iot lied to us! It's in the bible ya'll!”
Soon after the band broke up when Aelita fell in love with Yumi. She was shot not long after.
- 90. (There's No Such Thing As) Wrong Exposure- Aelita is reading Playboy one day (because she's a lesbian... remember back in episode 76? Yep, it stuck with her), when she stumbles across a nude photo of herself. Odd finds the picture and he shows it all over school. Sissi gets a copy and shows it to her father, who is later arrested for possession of child pornography. Aelita legally changes her name to Aelita Schaeffer-Hopper-Stones-Balls-Testicles.
- 91. Drinking With Odd- Odd makes a video and posts it on Youtube, where he rants about everything from small vaginas, to the fact that the government doesn't sell vaginas. The video becomes a hit in the vagina loving community, and Odd, now known as That Drinking With PUssie Talks Guy, is reconized as one of the greatest writers of all time, just like Seth MacFarlane and Stephenie Meyer.
- 92. Cold Cock- Yumi is reading Playboy one day, when she stumbles across a nude photo of herself. Odd finds the picture and he shows it all over school. The entire episode is basically a repeat of episode 90. The creators were really running low on ideas at this point. The only difference between this and episode 90 is that when anyone sees Yumi naked, their dicks get really cold and freeze off. Why? Because the creators were really running low on ideas!
- 93. Holy... Shit- Xana decides he is getting really tired of fighting the Lyoko Warriors all the time, and having his plans ruined by those meddling kids. So he decides to come up with a plan to end the series once and for all. He creates an army of robots, and destroys the Yellow Submarine, causing Jeremie to fall into a coma. Somehow William escapes back to the real world too. Just as the Lyoko Warriors think they're about to get the upper hand, the episode ends (due to Xana working at the network), leaving everyone wondering what the hell is going to happen in the final episode?!
- 94. The Final Episode- Aelita starts having nightmares about Bill Clinton raping her... again. (Like I said, the creators were running out of ideas). Meanwhile, Jeremie snaps out of his coma and E-mails Aelita's dad, to ask if he can date her. After waiting patiently for almost a whole minute, Jeremie sends the group to Lyoko to find out what the hell is taking Franz so long to write back. However in the real world, William reveals himself to be a double agent and beats the shit out of Jeremie. Just as it looks like Xana is going to win and destroy the series forever, Aelita's dad pops out of no where and pushes them both off a cliff in the most anti-climactic ending ever, killing them both instantly. Xana is defeated but the fans of the series can't help but feel sadness at the loss of their most beloved character... Xana.
- 95. The REAL Final Episode... Finally- Now that the series has ended the group decides to think about all of the adventures they had on Lyoko, which results in a long and tedious clip show. Sissi watches the clip show and goes bat fuck insane from the mind-numbing tediousness of it all. Sissi is sent to a mental hospital, but all that is undone when the group preforms a return to the past. They then decide to let Sissi join their group, needing a new butt-monkey, because Jeremie just isn't as fun to pick on anymore. And that my children, is the story... of CODE LYOKO!
|This page was originally sporked from The diary of Franz Hopper, creator of Lyoko.|