Cold Turkey

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Cold Turkey is a frozen treat that has served to delight and repulse in equal amounts ever since its creation in 1809 - it is considered a delicacy in some parts of the world but has come under fire from health officials as a leading cause of food poisoning


Origins[edit]

although the exact origins of Cold Turkey have been debated over the years it has become a widely believed fact that the dish began in Alaska when the first immigrants moved over - unable to keep their usual turkey dish warm in the extreme wilderness these pioneers were forced to devour the turkey cold: to their surprise the few that didn't end up dead or gravely ill actually found the dish to be most delight and thus it was kept as a now famous treat.

Popularity[edit]

Cold Turkey is a popular dish amongst many pop-stars, although they seldom stick to the diet - however this practice of "going Cold Turkey" is considered a national pass-time in some countries and government funding has even been offered: showing that the dish is still extremely popular amongst those in power.

Variations[edit]

Hot Turkey[edit]

Hot Turkey is considered to be the most boring of Turkey dishes yet is also the most known, unlike Warm Turkey it is served hot - it is a popular dish around the Holiday season but has been criticised as a leading cause of groin injuries when accidentally dropped into someone's pants.

Warm Turkey[edit]

Originally thought to simply be Hot Turkey that was left out to long the dish of Warm Turkey became its own registered foodstuff in the mid 20s and has enjoyed limited success ever since: it is traditionally served to drunken husbands that have arrived home late, accompanied by a letter explaining that their dinner is in the oven and they shall be sleeping on the sofa that night.

Turkey Surprise[edit]

A popular party-dish the Turkey Surprise is a famous dish that consists entirely of turkey: it can be served warm or hot but never cold and is considered the number one cause of confusion in men as they try to figure out what the "surprise" is..

Controversy[edit]

Health Problems[edit]

Copyright Issues[edit]

Cold Turkey is currently facing legal issues in regards to who owns the copyright to the dish, so far Ronald MacDonald, Burger King and Willie Wonka have all made claims of ownership but none of them have managed to reveal proof - many argue that Cold Turkey has no copyright, that it is a traditional dish invented by some immigrant in the distant past: however this was recently deemed as "Un-American" by a top judge and thus the debate continues.

Claims Of Racism[edit]

Recently several Turks have complained that the dish is racist - this is a problem facing almost all Turkey related dishes as the Turks claim that it is an insult to their culture and people: "how would you feel if we served an America as a meal? or a French burger? you see - it would be unacceptable: yet our beloved country is continually reduced to a tasty snack for the rest of the world.. this is racist and must end"

References In Pop-Culture[edit]