Columbia can refer to:
- Space Shuttle Columbia, a sophisticated piece of machinery that was involuntarily converted into insurance dollars.
- Colombia, the country where you can buy a drug mule for 17 cents - but watch out for death squads!
- British Columbia, where both the drug mules and death squads have British accents.
- Columbia, South Carolina, the capital of South Carolina
- Colombia, the tree fort built by Christopher Columbus in 1461. Girls were not allowed in this fort. Sadly, due to poor construction, it exploded in low-earth orbit.
- Your mom, if her name is Columbia.