Combat Arms (video game)

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Combat Arms (video game).

Combat Arms is a shooting-video game produced by a poorly-maintained south-korean softhouse known as Nexon. The primary goals to achieve in-game is to kill as many colored pixels as you can, while running around in tremendously big lag-spikes, independent of the internet connections being 2,4,8,16MB, thanks to the server running the game service plus the "laggerentous" lagged lagzilla anti-hacking system known as Annoyance Systems Inc., built by phillipines located sub-division of M$, your love our pa$$ion, NoobHackingSyst for poor performance Corp.

Critically acclaimed for being the next generation in video games and VR systems, the video game Combat Arms was being used by USMC, Spetsnaz, British SAS and err... Mediterranean "emergent" forces for training soldiers, as thus seen in the ranking system of the game, starting from Trainee going through all the military ranks available until one arrives into an evil Emergent dictator. For this, has gained many prizes such as the Pulitzer prize and IgNobel prize for "the most useless research into how does VR games influence nowadays kids into joining the army", and raising the interest for such a excruciation, useless theme that is presented on it.

Combat Arms as addiction[edit]

Being nearly the same thing as it's predecessor, Counter Strike, Combat Arms is a highly addictive drug if not used cautiously. The extended exposure to this thing can lead one to believe that they are being persecuted by others while in the street and to perform insane acts such as babbling nonsensical words while not playing the game. For a more in-depth knowledge of how this works, please consult addiction or effects of addiction in the body, using the GTS (google that shi-) method for the last one.

Shrinks, Freud and Psychiatrists alike have been counseling their patients to adhere to the more popular and reliable method of getting high known as Kitten Huffing (although not yet legalized due to many crybabies yelling their motives out loud because they claim to defend family, tradition and moral values, as well as being an extreme pain in the ass performing as such to get out in famous newspapers, magazines and the poor Internet as well, because this results them money (oh really?), and you'll vote for them again because they seen utterly concerned with your values and as such will do everything to defend you in the Senate), Just to remember, the internet as well as being a resourceful font of extremely reliable news, the true motives of it relies on being used to store all porn in the world, just to be kept under an accessible and easy-to-use place.

Oh yeah, I forgot to say.... BOOOOM HEADSHOTTT (if your gay like this game then say: "BOOM CUMMMSHOTTTT!!!" because its 4 u)


Nexon releases bi-weekly content patches and occasionally emergency patches to solve any server, glitching, bug and/or current hacking problems. Patches can also add new inventory items and/or maps for players. One patch per month usually consists of a new map. The patch usually fixes nothing and hackers are still everywhere. Patches usually add new teleportation points on maps. Because of the teleportation, you will usually see yourself unload a clip into a person's head, watch him teleport behind you, and kill you. You will then call him a hacker, report him and he will then be banned by admins who don't really investigate the issue, but are just happy to ban anyone. The longest a person has lasted on Combat Arms was 15 hours, 22 minutes and 3 seconds before getting banned for "raping too much" and "teleporting too fast". Nexon will then remove that teleportation point and locate it somewhere else. People who don't use these teleportation points are also called "HACKZ0RZ" because they usually win the round.

After the patching, a simple geek with no programming Skillz will get the hacking again, and make money selling it to the noobxors. Those people that use the hacking are even lamer, because even after hacking, they still get CUMMMSHOTTTED! Ridiculously sad. Patching just creates more money for hacker programmers, and I am sure the actual programmers were hired by Nexon to get even more money! (Vip hacks!)

Gameplay and Characteristics[edit]

As any other game on the same genre as it is, the gameplayablity has been considered by critics to be by the most a very different experience due to the appearance of characters being able to teleport in a matter of seconds from an area of the level to the other. Instead of going there walking normally they randomly appear from 2 to 3 seconds later from 20 to 30 meters as far from were they were, and as such, caused many casual critics of the video game area to believe such to be incredible unrealistic and somewhat addictive for these traits.

You are also allowed to buy weapons such as the commonly used dildo and the just as commonly used strapon

Also, the leveling system presented in this game is that of the most realistic, as already explained above, and can make one believe that they really are an soldier. The use of the included VR glasses that can be parceled while downloading the game immerses the addict into a different world that they claim to be better than the real one.

Score one to the video game industry (M$ with the HuffenBox, Sony with Playstation 4, the famous videogame made out of cardboard box and Nintendo Pu).


Real money can be used to buy cosmetic items and weapons in-game. The currency in Combat Arms is GP (Gay Points). Gay points are points that are particularly pointless and gay since it seems that every time u say, "F4wk th15 i'm fk1ng 71r3d i'm g01ng 70 5l33p" and u sign off, sum hacker comes and maliciously rapes your character up the a$$, taking away all of his gear/clothing and leaving him butt a$$ naked 4 u 2 find the next day. This make anyone who plays combat arms for more than 24 hours gay.

Lets go save for a ps3 game! Not! lets "Rent" a new gun in combat arms that is just a different color, so we can show off our "newly painted rented guns!" What happens after the 30 days? they buy another newly painted gun, that serves no purpose! Hurray, that is the first step to being a losser for the rest of your life.

Note: anything nexon sells, is never permanent, so its preety much renting it. Might as well buy a new game.

P.S. 99.999% of the people who play Combat Arms get raped up the A$$ by haxors while playing and they get overwhelming orgasmic ecstasy while playing it. So your pretty much gay for installing it lawlz. But face it, this game is orgasmic. BOOOM CUMMSHOTTT!!

(this happened a few times to me on three separate occasions)