Comedy
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Please note before reading this article that comedy is a very serious matter and should be treated as such. This is a serious matter. And must be taken at a highly advised serious matter. Please also remember that this article banishes the viewpoint which treats comedy as a fictional cause of moments of insanity among humankind.
“Funny things make people laugh.”
~ Captain Obvious on Comedy
“Lmao! This shit is mad funny!”
~ Oscar Wilde on this article
“We are not amused.”
~ Queen Victoria on anything funny
“fart”
~ comedy
Contents |
[edit] Comedy in Film
Movie comedies are known to be one of the most common failures in history. It is estimated that approximatley 5% of movies advertised as comedies are actually funny, while most others are random movies with "comedy" slapped below their names in order to lure poor unsuspecting victims into watching them. Luckily, there are a few methods of determining whether or not a film is, in fact, a comedy:
- Check if it has talking animals (especially 3 dimensional ones). If this is true, avoid the movie at all costs. Movies containing nothing but talking animals are the most dangerous type of fake comedy, known to cause DEATH.
- Check if it is a romantic comedy. These often screw over comedy completely, for reasons unknown.
- Does it contain politics? If so, avoid this movie at all costs. Unless, of course, you start laughing for no appearent reason at the mention of any member of the republican party.
- Does it contain a moral? If so, its not funny. It is an evil attempt to make you be nicer. Avoid at all costs.
- Does the movie contain any actors you don't like? This will make the movie bad. Why people care is a well known psychological mystery.
- Is it in a foreign language? If it is, you wont understand it, and you'll be like "DOOD I CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS BEH SAYIN!".
- Is it made by disney (thats a bad thing)?
"Comedy is were people say stupid things to make you laugh, for stupid mindless idiots" -Britnay spears''on comedians'''on not doing'
[edit] Chart of Funniness
If their is one thing which is universally accepted as funny it is charts and graphs, as comedian Ross Perot proved in 1992. If their is one thing even funnier than charts and graphs it is the quantification of humor. Therefore the funniest thing in existence is this 10 level scale indicator of funnyness, created by professor Laughen M. I. Arsov in 2005. It goes by increasing with 0 being the lamest funny joke (probably made by your mom) and continues to 10 which testing in a laboratory conditions has proven to be the highest achievable level of comedy.
| Level of funnyness | Indication Code | Description | Example(s) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | ... | Something that is not even remolety funny (makes tumbleweed fly by). Most of the time being ignored.
| Your mom's jokes. Shakespearean comedy, Oscar Wilde's quotes (well at least they almost deserve a 0),Jimmy Choo. |
| 1 | meh | A very low, almost inexistant level of funnyness. Usually is being more stupid than funny. | Best of Your mom's jokes, Oprah's jokes, Ancient Greek comedy, Dane Cook |
| 2 | um... haha? | May seem a bit funny only in a company of complete morons (see oxymoron) or chimpanzees. Although sometimes even |chimpanzees will feel ashamed. | Your mom's jokes being told by a famous comedian, George W. Bush's jokes |
| 3 | heh | Jokes that may usually make people smile a little. Or a lot, when they're on pot. | Your mom's jokes heard when being on drugs or Nigel Jokes when heard from a very long distance. |
| 4 | hehe | Some jokes that may make you launch a little laughing sound, but usually don't create even cramps. | Your Mom jokes (not being told by your mom, actually), Russian Reversal jokes. |
| 5 | lol | Jokes that often make you feel moderately funny, you do laugh and sometimes may cramp. Most jokes fall into this category. | Any recent joke you heard from any person in the last 24 hours. |
| 6 | lmao | Jokes that might be slightly funnier that regular jokes, with cramps and, sometimes, tears. Maybe funny enough to make a little bit of pee come out, but only closer to 7 on the scale, and if you've just had a Big Gulp. | Your Mom jokes about your mom's jokes being told by a famous comedian. |
| 7, | rofl | Some jokes that make you cramp, often cry and your face turns red. Uncontrolled emotions and sudden breaks of laughter are |possible. | Watching Family Guy. |
| 8 | roflmao | These jokes make you spill blood and may be considered as lethal to Your Mom. | Watching Family Guy or South Park on drugs (drugs neccesary for South Park). |
| 9 | XD | put to a 10-year treatment against such things as schizophrenia and personality split. | Watching your mom watch South Park. |
| 10 | a splode | WARNING!! Even hearing these jokes in distance can make your head asplode. Not recommended for mixing with reading this article. | Prejudiced jokes against Barrak Obama are hilarious and all "Open Minded" individuals are encouraged to use them at every possibly opportunity because you know they never stop being funny :) |
[edit] Universality
Comedy is a form of torture developed by NASA and Bill Clinton to prepare astronants for their journey into the depths of hell. But the question is "what is funny?" NASA and Clinton have pondered for years and have finally developed a theory. To the subtle, sublime witticisms of Courtney Love, comedy is clearly a fundamental part of all life. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, do the other trees laugh? Yes, they most assuredly do. If Lucille Ball throws a pie at Ricky's face and he ducks and it hits Ethel instead, does the audience laugh? Oh hell yeah; pie humor is so fucking amusing, try it sometime and see what happens.
While the microscopic life forms are very rarely actively humorous using wordplay, they have been known to carry out rather complex pranks on each other. However, iguanas, arguably one of the funniest life forms on the planet, have been observed making fun of chameleons 2 cages down, and even hosting entire comedy fests.
[edit] Example of a Joke
Obama Bin Ladin
Example number 2
Hillary Clinton
The above is an example of a well-known joke, particularly popular among mothers, children and politically correct people. However the key to this joke's success is not just the joke itself, but the way it is told.
For maximum comedy effect, one must deliver the punchline with a hint of dead-pan aggression, as though you are being completely serious. One person who has been extremely successful at telling this joke is Michael Jackson, this is mostly due to the fact that he is actually telling the truth.
[edit] Proper Usage
The proper use of comedy is essential. Used improperly, it can easily backfire, potentially causing serious injury. See ATP. Comedy should be used where it is unexpected, but never where it is unwanted.
A shitty example of proper usage of comedy:
[edit] Proper Response
The proper response to comedy is, under ideal circumstances, a rapid exhilation of air, with a light application of the vocal chords on the outbreath. This produces the following noise: ha ha ha ha ha, or occasionally glug glug glug or achihi. Most people will find that this comes as a natural response if the comedy is actually funny, otherwise you may have to force the effect out of politeness. This may be required if comedy is being delivered as an after dinner speech, where the absence of laughter may be an embarrassing indication of ass-facedly assembled jokes.
[edit] Comedy Contamination
A simple rule of comedy: When producing humor it is important to understand that one stupid paragraph in a well done article doesn't make the whole article stupid, but place one well done paragraph into a stupid article and the paragraph becomes as stupid as the rest of the article. We call this law "The law of things that are true for some reason".
An example of this law in action would be to insert a stupid uncyclopedia paragraph in between some lines of shakespeare. For instance:
In sooth, I know not why I am so sad:It wearies me; you say it wearies you; But how I caught it, found it, or came by it, What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born, I am to learn; And such a want-wit sadness makes of me, That I have much ado to know myself.
This was When zombies ruled the earth some 400 kazillian billion years ago and giant robots landed on Mt. Everest and created Barack Obama. Then a great Zork desendd from the skies and ate Obama. This was known as the great feasting of 400 kazillian billian B.C.
Note how Shakespeare doesn't look any more stupid for having an idiotic paragraph attached at the end.
Now note the opposite:
Mental illness was invented in 1942 by a japanese salesman from Nantucket. The way to tell if someone is insane is to xray there head when they arent looking. If the xray is full of loose screws then they are bat fuck insane. Throw magnets at the crazy person and they will go away. When crazy people sleep at night its like; Your mind is tossing on the ocean; There, where your argosies with portly sail, Like signiors and rich burghers on the flood, Or, as it were, the pageants of the sea.
Adding Shakespeare to the end
of the article makes it difficult to determine where the stupid stops and Shakespeare
begins.
moral of the story: uncyclopedia can make even Shakespeare look stupid.
Mitch is funny. he is also the Deity of various religions including, but not limited to, Islam, Buddhism, and Pastafarianism. He once lived in a cookie, ran with wolves, proved the Big Bang Theory wrong, carved his initials into the moon, sold his soul on Craig's list, danced with the devil in the pale moonlight, snorted Kool-aid powder, flown a goat, captured 12 panda bears, been blocked by Wikipedia, overused the Russian-Reversal joke, counted to infinity, said the same sentence twice, said the same sentence twice, spoke in Binary, 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101, dissected air, beaten the house, brushed his teeth with wasabi, been a pirate, been a ninja, fought himself for the good of mankind, fired his lazer, learned Morse code, resurrected the funk, played chicken with a train, played train with a chicken, purchased the color blue, drunken the Atlantic ocean, found Atlantis, sneezed out a lava lamp, fought a robot bear, used his fourth amendment, formed an alliance with Optimus Prime, and defeated Soviet Russia; twice.
[edit] Also See
- Mel Brooks
- Kitten huffing
- It's Politically Incorrect So It Must Be Funny
- Trying hard to be funny
- Comic duo
- [1] - a FROG story
- William Shakespeare, some guy who wrote funny plays
- Wikipedia
[edit] Do Not See
- AAAAAAAAA!
- Kirsten Dunst
- Republican National Convention
- Carlos Mencia (The guy,not the article)
- I <3 Huckabees
 | The complete works of William Shakespeare |
|---|---|
| Tragedies: | Romeo and Juliet | Macbeth | King Lear | Hamlet | Othello | Titus Andronicus | Titus Androgynous | Julius Caesar | Antony and Cleopatra | Coriolanus | Troilus and Cressida | Timon of Athens |
| Comedies: | A Midsummer Night's Dream | All's Well That Ends Well | As You Like It | Cymbeline | Love's Labour's Lost | Measure for Measure | The Merchant of Venice | The Merry Wives of Windsor | Much Ado About Nothing | Pericles, Prince of Tyre | Taming of the Shrew | The Comedy of Errors | The Tempest | Twelfth Night | The Two Gentlemen of Verona | The Two Noble Kinsmen | The Winter's Tale |
| Histories: | King John | Richard II | Henry IV, Part 1 | Henry IV, Part 2 | Henry V | Henry VI, part 1 | Henry VI, part 2 | Henry VI, part 3 | Richard III | Henry VIII |
| Poems and Sonnets: | Venus and Adonis | The Rape of Lucrece | The Passionate Pilgrim | The Phoenix and the Turtle | A Lover's Complaint | Sonnet 18 |
