Comedy Central

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Comedy Central is an American cable TV station that was started ~~by the infamous intimate Five Jewish Bankers of indeterminate ethnicity that could be any race, creed, color, or bank account one of them could be Bill Cosby fuck that goddamn~~ sometime in the late 20th Century. It started out as a small station, showing funny clips meant for 'common people' and achieved success by running mediocre shows like Reno 911, Mind of Mencia, and comedy roasts, while derailing the runaway success of its most successful show ever, Chappelle's Show because Dave Chappelle, its creator, didn't want to be racist as his bosses anymore.

[edit] History

Dave Chappelle

Crow T. Robot

Comedy Central was launched on April Fool's Day of 1991 when HBO (owned by Time Warner) decided to merge its unpopular comedy channel with MTV's program, HA! By working together, they attempted to create an entire channel of unpopular ~~shit~~ shows. Comedy Central was first known as CTV, short for "Comedy Television." Canadian audiences complained because they had a network named "CTV" as well, short for "Canadian Television." What the Canadians failed to realize was that no one in America cared anything about what went on outside its borders, especially Canadian television programming. As a result, CTV was forced to change its name and become "Comedy Central". The channel was sold to Disney in 1995. It was later sold to Viacom, which is alleged to be where all the heat Dave Chappelle was getting (according to his interview with Inside the Actors Studio on Bravo TV/NBC Universal) when he exiled himself to Africa after quitting his show in 2005.

Since Comedy Central had (and still has) no original ideas of their own, they picked up cult favorite Mystery Science Theater 3009, which was never meant to be considered a quality show by any networks in existence. Since the program already had a huge following, and the character Crow T. Robot never ran out witty one-liners, it was inevitable that more people would eventually tune in. Joel Hogdson, its host and creator, made a fatal career move and left MST3K at Comedy Central in its heyday, and his show went with another host, fell into overdrive fail, then death.

The new owner of Comedy Central, your mom, realized how many balls his channel sucked. He came up with a great idea. He started showing gay porn, before it was amateur gay porn and now it is hardcore. They have great porno's like, "Two Cocks, One Mouth" and of course the unforgettable, "On The Cocks". Stupid middle school kids started watching this channel and other channel like, Adult Swim, MTV and BET. 99.999999% of their viewers are niggers 10 to 14 year old kids looking for acceptance. Now a day, Comedy Central shows GREAT shows like, "The Dicky Silverdick Show" and "Mind of A Faget". Comedy Central viewers masturbate over 5812 times a minute.

[edit] Overview

Sometimes Comedy Central will air a show that is genuinely funny and creative such as That's My Cock!, The Daily Bone, South Penis, bad boner jokes from Upright Citizens Brigade, and Viva Gay Sex!. Most of the time, patrons are forced to watch people embarrass themselves, like Colin Quinn whose show Tough Crowd was nothing short of a 30-minute stutter-a-thon. It took Comedy Central several years to realize that Colin Quinn was ~~a racist piece of drunk Irish gay rapist shit who couldn't outwrite a Chinaman at an AK-47 O.K. Corral gunfight, like a poor man's Denis Leary~~ an abomination; his overrated stand-up was awful; he had a major speech impediment as well as massive brain damage; his "Weekend Updates" were only him reading the news some preppie Aryan Nation intern from Harvard Lampoon wrote; and yet no one could comprehend how he even got far enough in his career to end up on Saturday Night Live ~~Colin sucked a truckload of actual dick and not in the figurative sense~~ in the first place.

Since Comedy Central does not pay their talent well, if at all, most shows are short lived; the only exception is South Park, because with Trey Parker and Matt Stone's runaway success, (producing effective satires that bashed the reputations of Tom Cruise, Scientology, and other groups or people they feel threaten free speech or human rights), the creators vow to destroy Comedy Central with one episode at another media outlet or even at Comedy Central if they notice one hint or suggestion that they would be let go, censored, or fired. this brings critical and commercial acclaim to Viacom/Comedy Central. i jizzed in my pants Buckethead is god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[edit] Shows

These shows are currently aired on Comedy Central, but are soon canceled and re-aired again each year.

~~Chappelle's Shit~~
The Colbert Report (see Stephen Colbert)
Comedy Central Presents
The Yearly Show
Distraction (U.S. version)
Erased Together
Ignorant and Loud Plagiarism by Fat Mencia Boy
Reno 911!
The Showbiz Show with David Spade
North, South, East and West Park

Here are examples of past shows that no one watched, even though Viacom is brain-damaged beyond repair with all their flying-saucer, Scientology Narconon-advertising, Howard Stern-killing, Dave Chappelle-torturing shit that should have left with Tom Cruise, but some assholes stayed but showed promise as comedy gems: