Communist Party

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Nobody parties harder than the communists! Anybody caught partying harder than the communists will be rounded up and executed.


“In Soviet Russia, party throws YOU!!

~ Russian reversal on Communist party

“Power to the people!”

~ Communist party motto on Communist party

Communist parties (Chinese: 腦殘黨) tend to start around 8 p.m. with party members arriving at the Kremlin a.k.a. the maddest party in Moscow. Party members start with a traditional Russian Brewski, also known as beer. They then play a game of spin the bottle, the loser gets deported to Siberia, the winner gets to lead a coup within the party and become Chief-Communist. After the Kremlin the revelers head to a trendy new bar called Gulag's, Gulag is well known for his wild parties. Here they do Vodka body shots and listen to techno and generally rave about. At this point some of the lesser members of the party tend to go home while the die hard party people go and dare each other to do generally stupid things, such as grow moustaches. A keg stand competition normally ensues with the victor getting to don the Fuzzy Russian Hat of Victory. All the party members go home before 2 a.m. because of the Dr.B.Stinson principle of nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. Some go home alone but some don't, some regret not going home alone the next day.

A day of heavy hangovers results, hence the need for Fuzzy Russian Hats that you all see them wearing, it makes the headache feel better and makes noises less painful to hear in their hungover state. After experiencing such a night of revelry, and the awful after affects, a spate of blaming "Capitalist Pigs" is in order, the party members blame the West for their hangovers, not the fact they decided to do Vodka body shots. Still, sitting behind their desks party members can't help but think how much fun the previous night was, and quickly swallow some Panadol and sink back into their seats.

Communism, it's a party!

Communist Parties usually involve too much vodka and not enough Ukrainian girls.

They are extremely unpopular amongst big corporations (with the possible exception of companies that make and distribute vodka) because, after all, when everyone spends a night sitting around drinking vodka, it is unlikely they will show up for work the next morning (or even the following week).

Big corporations have subsequently hired Bill O'Reilly to use his superpowers to crush out this enemy of capitalists by turning them all into stone.

Communist Parties are also known to involve many games of chance and skill, such as pin the bill on the Capitalist and pig-dog hunting. There is also extensive bickering over whose penis is bigger: John Lenin's or Karl Marx's in a ceremony dedicated to the god of Communism.

A common insult around the Footscray area of Australia is "You, sir, are a Communist," and it is believed to be spawned by Brock Tandem in The Mythical Foot a Scray (or Footscrazy) city high school, the Insult implies that this person is involved in communism in some way and usually has the connatation that said person is on drugs and unemployed.

People Invited to Communist Parties[edit]

"Yes, there will be free donuts at my party, so come and bring your friends."

People Kicked out of Communist Parties[edit]