Competition

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Competition.

Competition is what makes humans tick. It's what drives us to greater heights and loftier goals. With competition comes better things. Survival of the fittest. Cyber-awesome. Without competition, people have nothing to go on and nothing to do. Laziness, sloth, and fat cells lie ahead for those non-competition weenies.

How Competition Works[edit]

Competition works by pitting us against each other in fierce production, debate or violence. Essentially it's like evolution but without the DNA. Go for it. This ensures that only the fittest and most brutal are allowed to live and breed with other humans, making our society much healthier and more better.

The results for the loser of competition can vary depending on what people are competing for. Death is not uncommon, but there may be a silver lining like no longer having to try so hard because everyone thinks you're pathetic anyway. Other benefits may be the right to mate, a promotion within your corporation, or, if you're in a new wave, hi-competition corporation, both.

Fierce competition at its finest.

American Competition[edit]

This is the most violent form of competition. Americans love to be competitive, and with their ideology of FUCK YOU, the often succeed. For example, in a race, it is not good sportsmanship that wins the race in America, it is the one who beats the rest (just like every other country, funnily enough except Ireland where they're too drunk to care). So, rather than cheering opponents who are racing when Americans are not, they shoot them with their legal guns. They then race against other competitors (what's left of them) and kick, shoot, stab, slash, gouge, maim, dismember, smash or explode their way to the finish. This is the American way. The fucking hideous American freak child is then heralded by his over paid parents and taken home for dinner in a 0.00001 mpg 45 foot 50 ton SUV.

Here another round of competition begins, and is very personal to American families. Who can get to the fridge first and eat the most food? Well, this is similar to the race tactics. However, the mother has the advantage. She stays in the car and mows down her child and family to get to have dinner first. God Bless America!

British Competition[edit]

Riddled by human decency and polite sports, the British don't like competing, they call it more 'good game chap!'. If a British company does well by itself, the government kindly steps in and fucks it up perfectly. Then a French company replaces it and the whole cycle is ruined. What cycle this is is not known.

Britain has the most draws ever from sports, as no one like a winner. But, in line with nature, losers are hanged without trial.