Absence of Corn Poop
The absence of Corn Poop, however, IS a disease. It is known as ACD, or Anus Corn Disorder. If you think you have ACD, consult your doctor as soon as possible. But, you may not have looked hard enough. ACD isn't life-shortening, but it will affect your daily life.
Ways to Prevent ACD
There are no ways to cure ACD yet, but there are some medications, such as Vosmosintereo. Vosmosintero does absolutely nothing. It is rumored to really be a repainted Bayer aspirin. Side effects of taking Vosmosintero are, drowsiness, stomach pains, clogged arteries, leprosy, blindness, constipation, diarrhea, and death. Do not drive, operate heavy machinery, speak, file lawsuits, or rob banks for the net 20 years.
Types of Corn Poop
There are as many types of corn poop as there are flavors of it. Some are;
- Kernelcrap is the most common kind of corn poop, where average-sized corn kernels can be seen in the turds.
- Creamed Corncrap
- This is a less common type of corn poop, sometimes referred to as Poop Cola, in which corn is visible in diarrhea.
- Corny Stone
- This is an equally uncommon relative of corn poop, also referred to as Cornwallis. Corny Stone is when corn is in a kidney stone.
- Crap Corn
- Crap Corn, also known as Holy Crop, is rare, where this kind of corn poop contains more corn than actual crap.
- Cornfield crap
- This is an extremely rare kind of corn poop, in which an ear of corn sticks out of the crap. (see below)
Nicknames of Corn Poop
- Toilet Popcorn
- Crapper Food
- Dung Dinner
- That crap corn
- EEEEWWWWW!!! DAT SHTUFF'S NAH-STAY! (in Africa only)
History of Corn Poop
Corn poop existed since the stone ages, according to recently discovered cave drawings in an ancient cave, depicting a monkey flinging a wad of crap with an ear of corn sticking out of it. The corn might also have been intended to be a large rock.
The first recorded sighting of corn poop was on July 26, 1625 in Germany. A man noticed a crap his dog, which was lethally allergic to corn, had just taken on the carpet. It had small yellow dots in it. Upon further inspection revealed it contained what resembled corn kernels. The man, thinking his dog's allergy to corn had disappeared, fed the dog some corn. One minute later, the dog died. The man realized then that the corn had not been real, and reported this to the news, scientists, and hospitals promptly.
Famous Cases of Corn Poop
One of the most famous cases of corn poop was on January 6, 2002 in New York. An African-American man just took a dump, and he felt something poking him. When he got up to see what it was, he saw there was an entire ear of corn in the toilet.
Another was when a man, who had been constipated, thought he had just taken a dump for the first time in weeks. But, the man realized he was still constipated, for there was only corn kernels in the toilet.
Yet another, which was similar to the first, was when a man's crap looked like the Pope, with an ear of corn resembling the hat. The pope crap sold on eBay for $1,337. The buyer had this to say; "EW! This isn't pudding-covered corn! I paid leet dollars for THIS?" This case is known as "Corn Pope" in some states. In others, like Utah, Texas and New Jersey, it is referred to as "That crappy pope thing".
Corn Poop in Advertising
Corn poop was, is, and will be used in many advertisements, mostly food. One use of Corn Poop in ads occurred in Sears. Particularly the recent "Worthless Junk That Resembles Crap" line of clothing, in which a leather handbag with yellow spots on it appeared in a commercial.
The most interesting, if not likely, use of corn poop in ads is Taco Bell's use of corn poop to promote their new food, the Deluxe Corn and Refried Bean Burritochiladaillaquito Nacho Grande Supreme. The food, strangely, sold very well. But, mostly to retards and mental patients.
Another example of Corn Poop in advertising was for the Dodge Thundercougarfalconlionareyouhypnotizedyetcheetah Omega, which resembled a brown, round Jeep with yellow stars on it. This car has since become the official car for Texas.
|This article needs more work. See ICU and below for details.|
This page will be re-checked on 24 October 2015 (tagged 26 March),
and if not improved will face deletion.
|Good new content so far, see if you can add just a bit more.|
Maybe add some stuff to explain "why it's notable," in some loony way.
As always, I recommend checking out HTBFANJS for ideas, but the rest is up to you.