Corona Beer

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Corona, also known as Mexican dog piss, made its claim in the market of poorcollege students trying to be classy in thefuture of thepast. Corona tried to take over the world in the year 999999, but was foiled by the ghost of Strom Thurman, George Bush, and the Saint Ronald Reagan. In this epic battle, Corona, with its pseudo-exotic foreign beach appeal, made heavy gains after the loss of the great wall of Texas fell due to the preoccupation of Strom Thurmand and George Bush(who had kept the wall erect) with ranching and interracial sexual relations. Thankfully, the saint-god Ronald Reagan was able to rouse Thurmand and Bush from their incontinent pleasures due to his powers of "great communication"(hypnosis). The three, after suffering considerable losses of red neck soldiers, were finally able to push the Corona front back into Mexico using the super-weapon, Pat Buchanan and his sidekick the fattest chick on earth. The undeniable fear inspiring combination of Pat Buchanan's thinly veiled racism, and the sheer unattractive berth and flappiness of the fatest chick on earth routed the fun-loving, party-hardy Corona troops. After the earth-shattering conflict that the world would never forget, the three re-established the great wall and sent the Corona troops back to Mexico.

What am I actually drinking?[edit]

This is disputable. It is most likely an ill-conceived concoction consisting of volatile substances yet unknown to man(or at least evil frat boys).

Who is most likely to drink corona?[edit]

Good Question. Although this is largely unanswerable with inductive evidence(bullshit), White, American, liberal, kitten huffing, frat boys typically drink it. It is also the favorite drink of Carlos Mencia, Jennifer Lopez, and Jacques Shirac.

Other special abilities[edit]

Corona is also known to:

  • Transport whomever is drinking it to a remote and exotic tropical location.
  • Make one piss the amount of the hourly flow of the Niagra Falls approximately every 2 minutes.