Corporate

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Corporate is a slang term meaning "in bed with". The term comes from the same Latin root word as "copulate". A corporation is an affiliation of humans bound together by extramarital copulation.

Corporations are often housed in high-rise buildings, designed to resemble an erect penis. Corporate employees often ride to work in subways designed to resemble both the human intestine and the female birth canal, which to corporate higher-ups serve the same purpose.

Though detested by many lower class workers, corporations provide the organizing structure that facilitate most modern life. A corporation has the same legal rights as a person, allowing its members to avoid responsibility usually assigned to individuals.

Corporate executives are a type of alien species. They are easily identified by their Lexus automobiles and Leer brand aircraft.


How to be a Corporate winner • Work 70 hours a week • Show co-workers pictures of your life, 200 at a time • Post pre-approved the fire exit. • When you want to make a point…talk waaaaay louder than everyone and stutter • click your mouse the right way • check your voicemail on speakerphone at least once an hour • Complain loudly about much work you have to do, and start a dialogue with coworkers explaining thoroughly how busy you are. Follow up the dialogue with a conversation about traffic. • Have one toy action hero at your desk, NRFB (Never Removed From Box), to remind you of your heroes. • Talk with other co-workers about professional wrestling and never once touch on the subject of its veracity.

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