Corpse

“I remember making out with one”

~ Michael Jackson on Dead body of a ten year old he found

“I'm one, and so is my mom.”

~ You on You and your mom <insert name here>

If you came from the article 2000 AD - 2099 AD, go to this page.

This corpse is happy to be working at McDonalds

Corpse is the body of a deceased person. Usually caused by Chuck Norris being in the area. They can be commonly seen working in Starbucks, McDonalds or Walmart. When asking a question, you will usually only illicit a response such as 'huh', 'I'm on my break', or 'arrgghh kill all humans'. It is better to 'respect the dead' and just go ahead and shoplift anyway. {{C| They should not be confused with zombies, zombies can actually be productive in society, view the work of the late Bill Clinton, and recently deceased Nelson Mandela. They still do a great amount of work.

Corpses on the other hand only move when pushed, shoved, or kicked by their boss. When they eventually retire from working in a chain store, it is common to place them into a coffin to rest in peace. Though this coffin is then often just cremated, and turned into a pile of ashes.

Recreational uses of corpses

• Playing Bingo with
• Sex object
• The centerpiece of your dinner party, corpses are a delicious treat that are enjoyed at breakfast and lunch a Rotting corpse
• Keeping the dead corpse of your mother in your basement as motivation to stab girls to death in showers
• Making articles about them.

Well Known Corpses

• Ronald McDonald
• Gandhi
• Margaret Thatcher
• James Crowley
• Starkiller
• Gerard Way
• Nicole Richie
• Jade (Go play Super Filly Adventure)
• John McCain
• You
• Your Mom
• Bruce Lee
• Genghis Khan
• Russ Abbott Screw it, he's 64
• Billy Mays
• King Tut
• Marie Curie
• Kim Jong-il
• The Joker
• Cannibal Corpse
• That dude who likes to annoy me.
• That chick who keeps haunting me for life (Go play Darkness Episode 3)
• The kid's dog I just ate last night.

Films starring corpses

• Day of the dead
• Dawn of the dead
• Shaun of the Dead
• Nothing to Do With the Dead
• The Film in Which No Dead Appear
• DEAD! (the 1988 classic.)
• Just before sunset, but not quite dark yet of the dead
• When Harry met Sally
• Elf
• The Great Catalysm Which Caused All Infernal Overlords to Awaken and to Kill Everyone Dead

See also

• Ghost
• Zombies
• Cannibal Corpse

Fun things to do with corpses

• Eat it.
• Kick it.
• Teabag it
• Poke it with a stick.
• Have sex with it.
• Have even more sex with it.
• Cut it open to see what's inside.
• Try to re-animate it.
• Cut off some limbs and then play practical jokes on your friends/kids/grandparents presently on own death bed.
• Cut off some limbs and just use them to beat the crap out of your friends/kids/grandparents.
• Cut off it's genitals so you can use it as a "live" sex toy
• Drive around town with it pretending he or she is your best friend.
• Donate it to a classroom for science class.
• Have even MORE sex with it
• Build up a collection of different corpses - see how many you can get and trade them with your mates.
• Dress them up in different costumes and show them off.
• Suck the gooey bits out of them.
• Paint swastikas on it and parade it round town.
• Use it for your next BBQ.
• Attempt to resurrect it.
• Donate it to McDonalds to help save the cows.
• Experiment with it.
• Use it as a babysitter while low on cash.
• Make use of it's body parts by using each as a design for your next advertisement.
• Act like Charlie Chaplin and do random funny stuff out of it, like playing blackjack together while eating live tarantulas
• Iron their head so it looks funny in the funeral.
• EVERYONE LOVES MUNTING.
• Use it as a parachute if your airplane explodes.
• Use it as a weapon to smack people with when they don't listen to you.
• Use it as a life raft when you are stranded on an island.
• Use it as a bed if you are tired of sleeping atop your shit-stained bed.
• Use it as a dummy for your next MythBusters episode.
• Use it as a prostitute when you, uh...
• Beat it up, just like what Ip Man did to General Miura.
• Give it to Princess Luna. I'm very sure she will like the present you will give to her.
• Ride a space shuttle and go to Venus and use the corpse (naked) as your flag which symbolizes your ownership
• Scream and run away like a little girl, LEAVING IT ALONE.
• Eat it raw, and say "BLAGOMAGOHARAGOMONOCORPSOYUMMY" and then run into your neighbor's houses naked and holding a teddy bear with the corpse's head on it instead of the teddy bear's original head.
• If you are a girl, use its dead boner and stick it up your *****.
• If you are a guy, use its dead boner and stick it up your *****.
• Empty out the insides, get inside, and call your girlfriend to come to your house.