Corsica
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“Corsica is my hometown, you know! Fo' real! Y'all Russian punks bettah watch it! Dang.”
~ Black Napoleon on Corsica
Corsica is the English-language name of the ancient city of Shrokscztcha. The entrance to Corsica is located on a tiny island south of the Rock of Gibraltar, and the main city is comprised of a vast network of underwater tunnels. Corsica boasts a large submarine population, and although the city has historically been somewhat xenophobic, they have become more lax in recent years, allowing aircraft carriers, Somalian people (wait, why are they there?), and even filthy, filthy Divers.
[edit] Corsica, Episode I: The Enigmatic Origin
Nobody can be exactly sure when Corsica was founded, but it probably existed at around 8.31 a.m. on the 10th of April, 3 B.C. The original royal family (the Winfrey dynasty) LOVED books. In fact, the ancient Corsicans' love of books was so great that Queen/King (Can you tell?)Winfrey gave all their books and historical records to Rome in a TV programme. Thus there were no historical records As Historian-And-Omniscient-Being-When-It-Comes-To-Interviews Ellen DeGeneres states:
“We definitely know that King, or Queen, Winfrey loved books because he/she sat on them, an affectionate act of love. Who would give his/her ass to something without loving it?”
~
Queen/King Winfrey's unselfish act caught the attention of major and central cities like Buffalo and Lhasa. Unfortunately, Corsica sunk for a period of 4 years when Queen/King Winfrey jumped. When the jump occurred, tsunamis were created and wiped out every single human being within the radius of 2500 miles. As Ellen states:
“This was a brilliant move by Queen/King Winfrey as she/he now became the supreme ruler in the region. However, Queen/King Winfrey had to stay under water for 4 years due to air pressure. As it is widely known among everyone that Uncyclopedia should not suffer me to state, but anyway who cares, I'm trying to make myself sound smart and great, wait I AM smart and great and very humble at that, hmm I have digressed from the topic completely, I will go back to it right now, sigh, things are much nicer on my show, large whales will not explode if they rise quickly to the surface. Thus they do not take 30 minutes to rise, and take 0.3 milliseconds. This is not due to air pressure. King/Queen Winfrey would then have to adhere to this rule and thus took time to rise to the surface (the time taken was proportionate to the pressure inside her/her size)”
~
Ellen was proven right when records of that period were found in the Ocean, undamaged and printed in English, Chinese, Spanish and Latin so that many people could read and understand it. The records were kept in Ellen's dunkbox so that it would retain its "natural habitat". However, it was destroyed. As Ellen states again:
“Nobody really knows why, how or when it was destroyed because of it being fake and being needed to be destroyed or it would debunk my excellent theories. ”
~
Far from the impressive network of underwater caverns that now make up Corsica, early Shrokscztcha was a large grid of palm frond-covered ditches, as illustrated by archaeological record. It was not until the reign of Gum Sunder that Corsica began its mighty dig into the Earth. Today, over 15,000 miles of tunnels and caverns make up modern Corsica. Wow. Ellen sure knows a lot about the landscape and history of Corsica.
[edit] Corsica, Episode II: Squeeze One Out, O Jagged Minstrel
Very few people outside of the Eurasian area knew anything about Corsica until 1450, when Italian time traveler and part-time songwriter Leonardo da Vinci wrote a popular ballad about the underground metropolis. He sung in high praise of the city's submarine populace, admired them for their skills in engineering and debauchery, and lamented the historic destruction of 300 nuclear submarines in the exceedingly rare occurrence of a subterranean glaciernado which had traveled down from Siberia.
[edit] Corsica, Episode III: Massive Snukelier Asplosion
Guess what! It blows up(Did you guess it?).
Since that time, as more and more countries have become aware of Corsica, its economy has flourished, primarily due to its primary export, Coral reefs. Australia is currently their biggest buyer of Coral Reefs, for a massive project off its coast.
