Cow Pat

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Um... Kinda

A Cow Pat is a visible ground level marker indicating cows are in, or have been in the vicinity. These may, or may not be, round in shape with concentric circles of an irregular shape, where additional deposits have been added, to the top surface.

They vary in colour from light brown to very dark brown. have a texture varying from extremely wet and runny to firm, similar to school kitchen produced custard.

Some experts have suggested this has been due to spending too much time staring at natural hot mud springs, whilst chewing grass (the cow that is).

Where such markers are observed to be above ground level, or in places where cows are not normaly located, then note that mad cows may be present.

If you are in locations where politicians are assembled do not confuse these markers with Bull Shit. That is an entirely different, invisible - though omnipresent, substance which is normally found in abundance in such places.

Warning[edit]

If you are in a location where cow pats are present and you hear a coughing sound, do not walk behind any animal, within 30 feet of you, which has it's tail raised perpendicular to the ground.