Cows: Unethical Treatment of

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A Brief History[edit]

The practice originated in the early 700's by bored schoolchildren, but soon escalated into a full-fedged pandemic that wiped out the entire population of Norway (which was later repopulated with aborted festuses). It is generally believed by historians that are far smarter than you or anyone you happen to ask on the subject that virtually every major world leader had at least one direct ancestor involved in the incident. The long term repurcussions of this delicious event are largely unknown and may or may not include such disasters as 9/11, The Vietnamese War and Liberace.

Modern Cow Mistreatment[edit]

Considered by many to be a rollicking good time, a small international community has evolved to meet and discourse their technique. Though they are, in principle, indiscreet, they have managed to hide their name from the journalistic community, preventing any actual information on the exploits of this exclusive club. As a result, several small wars have erupted, at the cost of several gillion lives. At the last census, roughly three-hundred people claimed members ship in the nameless organization, but it is presumed that at least 150% of them were lying.


All methods of Bovine Harrassment are actually derived from the infamous "Mey Leng" Technique, which originated in feudal Japan in Edo while a new breed of warrior, the samurabbi, was being trained. The practice confused most onlookers, since no one happened to have a cow, so the entire process was pantomimed with the help of a pair of chopsticks and three dead children. Today there exist several thousand different methods, ranging from the bizarre "Naked Uncle" to the oddly erotic "Reverse Seatbelt". If you wish to acquire literature on the matter, you can contact the leading expert on cow abuse via her home phone number which is available in most phonebooks.

Ever wondered why cows always say BOOOO. They are against us because of the miserable way we treat them. i agree and i would like to add LEMON SHERBERT!!!!


It should be noted that the phrase "Have a cow." is entirely unrelated to this matter. If more information is required, you get it from a library for yourself, fucknut.

See Also[edit]