Crewebacca

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Crewebacca is a long-lost descendant of Chewbacca, which ended up in the North-West of England, towards the end of 1988. It is also thought that such a mutant came about through scientists forcing an unemployed giant to eat only fried weasel and drink only hair restorer for sixth months, though there is also an urban myth that it was created by the aliens whose craft crashes in Monty Python's Life Of Brian. Chewbacca also played bass in a techno band. His howls made the songs awesome.

What in the name of Bloody Hell does it do?[edit]

Crewebacca randomly beat up residents of Crewe with a large salami, unicorn horns or occasionally small children for several years, until its creators decided to give it some help in pointlessly harassing residents of a city formerly known for having a big train factory or something. Chavs, otherwise known as "Scallies", "Charvers" or more commonly "A bunch of fucking wankers", continued in Crewebacca's vein of pointless antisocial behaviour. Crewebacca has now seemingly retired to an undisclosed location in the South-East England, peacefully stealing the produce of its magical flying jam farms. In 1997, Crewebacca was given an MBE for providing the police and wild animal control with so much work and keeping employment levels managable.

Consequences[edit]

Unmitigated disaster created by tracksuit-wearing youths, Rob Halford not rejoining Judas Priest until 2003, Dario Gradi managing Crewe Alexandra since 1983 without being fired and a midget turned evil by the aforementioned beast, said to be living somewhere near to the area in which it caused havoc.