Crispy Cream Model
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
 | This article is likely to give you a seizure, or at the very least make your eyes
BLEED! (NO,REALLY!)
BLEED! (NO,REALLY!) | |
“Blaaarghh...excuse me while throw up, I do.”
~ Yoda on Crispy Cream Models
“Oooh, yucky.”
~ God on Crispy cream Models
Contents |
[edit] A History of Crispy Cream Models
In 1925,the Crispy Cream doughnut factory began a Mrs. Crispy Cream contest. Requierments for entery in this contset were as follows:
- You needed to be atleast 200.lbs or more.
- You needed to be ambiatory.
- You needed to be atleast 18 or older.
- You needed to be a real female. (No Drag-Fags or Heterosexuals allowed)
- You needed to be Fat.
The turnout at the factory the next day was awe-inspiering. Never had anyone attempted to place this amount of body-mass in a room at one time. There were so many fatties, the decisson was made to start a magizine and calender. The models possed with clevage-layers floping out of the XXXXXXL+ bikinis. And so, a legacy of lard-ass models was started. Many a fat-chick has spilled her layers of skin on the pages of crispy cream's play-boy knock-off. And somehow, the magizines and calenders actualy have generated profits.
[edit] How In The Hell?
As scary as it may be to most, there are those wierd people out there with a fat fetish. They bought the calenders and magizines in droves. It became nearly impossible to find any Crispy Cream Model merchndise. The scary part is how quickly the stuff left the shelfs. A Goverment Funded Study revaled that 2.5 thousand of the 8.9 billon americans had a fat fetish. The Crispy Cream Factory decided they should mass produce there infamous fat girl calennders and magizines.
People Who Have A Fat-Fetish:
- George Bush
- Barack Obama
- Mr.Six
- Grape Ape
- Chesse McGrady
- Tom Cruise
- Billy Bob Joe
- Grandpa
- Your Mom
- You
- Bill Clinton
- Mario
- Big Bob
- Brian Peppers
- Elton John
- Willy Wonka
[edit] Protests against the Crispy Cream Co.
For every one person out there with a fat-fetish, there are atleast 1,000 people against it. The UPAFP (United Peoples Against Fat Peoples) was formed by a group fighting against this morbid horror on magizine shelfs everwhere. The group was founded by You Know Who in 1985, and still exists underground. They were the KKK of fat people raceists. The would stop at nothing, and still don't to this day.
List of People in the UPAFP:
- Chuck Norris
- God
- Yoda
- The Devil
- Hucklberry Hound
- Hulk Hogan
- Ricky Retard
- Rumpple Stiltskin
- Dunkin Doughnuts
- Walt Disney
- Jesus Christ
- The Burger King
- Captin Obvious
- Peter Pan
- Jack
- Jill
- Old King Cole
- Bomber Man
- Princess Peach
- Donkey Kong
- Papa Bear
[edit] Taking Action
The UPAFP encourages action against fat people in small bikinis. They belive a world without fat people is utopia. You can help them by Calling 1800-808080-UPAFP to get a membership and show support for their cause.
[edit] See Also
| Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions | |
Body
Assorted fetii
| |
| For things far too Furverted for Uncyclopedia click here If you want to to be serious freaked out by furries | |
| This article needs more work. See ICU and below for details. This page will be re-checked on 7 March 2009 (tagged 28 February), and if not improved will face deletion. | ||
|
