Crocodile
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The crocodile is an animal with a disproportionately huge mouth and stubby little arms. The first crocodile was allegedly found in the oceans of Neptune by Captain Planet. Evil Jesus then filed a lawsuit against Captain Planet, stating that he alone discovered crocodiles and deserved the copyright. When he won the case, he earned $1,337,000 in royalties, with which he founded the Church of Evil.
Therefore, crocodiles are considered accessories to the foundation of The Church of Evil.
Between 40,000 BC and 2006 crocodiles evolved from quick-moving predators to lazy fat bastards that don't feel like moving, so they all sit in wheelchairs.
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[edit] Hunting and Diet
Crocodiles are not too good at hunting. They are lazy fuck slow, so they really don't care to try. So they don't starve to death, crocodiles simply employ the use of candy to lure mother fuckers fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!(Adults are not as dim witted) Since crocodiles are so lazy, they generally can't be bothered chewing so they simply swallow the children whole. Other popular crocodile foods include cattle, murdered prostitutes and Japanese and German tourists. Usually their prey don't really like to be eaten so they struggle, but because crocs are such lazy bastards, they don't do anything about it, they just sit there as the retarded child (who was stupid enough to accept candy from a gigantic, man eating beast in the first place) struggles from inside the crocodile's tummy and eventually is digested alive. And in case you were wondering, no, crocodiles do not feel any remorse for the lives they take, they are too lazy for all that. Recently, a crocodile ate the daughter of Steve Irwin, Bindy! She is still alive as it threw her up due to her sheer evilosity...
[edit] Team-Ups
Crocodiles are highly intelligent, but physically weak. Therefore they usually team up with humans or other animal species to get what they need.
- In the Dark Ages, they teamed up with alchemists, combining their wisdom to find a recipe for turning lead into delicious French cheese. Since all the alchemists are currently presumed dead, the secret recipe is now only known by crocodiles.
- In 1990, they formed a team with Bob Saget, to create a television program called America's Funniest Home Videos. They attempted to use the show to control the minds of all US citizens. Just as the plan was succeeding, Bob Saget developed a passion for alligator shoes and single-handedly killed off half the crocodile population.
- The most recent team-up was in 2006. The crocodile population had been annoyed to hell by Steve Irwin who enjoyed jumping on their faces, causing them to fall backwards off their wheelchairs. As they
couldn'tdidn't feel like moving and killing him, they let the sting-ray population do the dirty work for them.
[edit] The Song
Interior crocodile alligator
I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
Interior crocodile alligator
I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
Interior crocodile alligator
I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
Interior crocodile alligator
I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
Interior crocodile alligator
I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.
