Culinary Institute of America

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Colonel Harland Sanders, decorated war hero who, in all public interviews, denied any connection with the Culinary Institute of America
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Culinary Institute of America.
  • Founded during the First Cold War, the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) is a Good Housekeeping certified, independent intelligence agency.
  • Its central training school is in Roswell, New Mexico. The Agency has trained some of the best-known and best-loved chefs and cooking show hosts around the world who, by virtue of their oath of secrecy, must keep under cover the recipes that they learned at the school.
  • The Institute operates a catering service that serves five-star cuisine to embassies and heads of state around the world. Former U.S. president John F. Kennedy was particularly found of their Cape Cod Cheesecake.
  • The Institute's headquarters host a Hamburgerlympics every 4 years, the Hamburger being their greatest invention. Recent winners include Dick Cheney, and that fat guy from American Idol.
  • The Institute operates a major fast-food chain, from which they generally recruit candidates for chef training.
  • For those candidates entering the Chef Training Program without having had previous cook and SEAL training, there is a rigorous six-week introductory training course at the Institute's Cook Training School in the South Pacific, on the Cook Islands. The Islands have a significant seal population and its jungles have many unique plants with special properties essential for many of the Institute's most important recipes.

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