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Cunning linguists are residents of the town of Cunnilingus. One of the most popular foods among those cunning linguists is pussy. In addition, many of them are women, and they are known to have great recipes for the stuff.
The cunning linguist movement, an offshoot of the more general neo-Marxist linguist movement of the early Industrial Age was founded in 1927 by Aneeda Fagina and her sister Allotta. It was forced to meet in secret at first because of widespread persecution being conducted in those days by feminists and Vikings. Gradually, however, the movement gained wider acceptance as the discovery of pussy emerged into pubic consciousness and more and more people experienced its deliciousness.
Naturally, there were some, such as Karl Marx, who denounced the new movement as the work of capitalist pig "sleeper agents" working in the old Republic of Stalinasia. On June 12, 1929, however, a particularly cunning linguist slipped Marx some warm apple pie, and he became an instant convert.
Most of the progress of the cunning linguist movement since its inception has been related to the science of eating pussy; many important discoveries have been made in the field, especially in the last 50 years. Unfortunately, linguists, especially cunning ones, are very secretive, and it is only through the groundbreaking work of Emperor Palpatine in the late 80s that any of their secret workings have been brought to the light of day.
Many things have been found to go well as a topping for any pussy-related dish. They are as follows:
Warm Apple Pie
Those cunning linguists have devised a way to synthesize warm apple pie, which until now was impossible to recreate by man. The recipe is as follows:
- One kitten
- One cherry
- Two melons
- One package of the white Mentos
- A dash of baby's tears
- If the above are not available, one cunning linguist will do.
What To Do
Spread the topping of your choice (see above) over all the other ingredients. Be gentle with it; dribble it finely and slowly. Remove glaze using the damp, fleshy object of your choice. Insert filling device and finish (This and the previous step may be done simultaneously if desired). Clean up if necessary and dump the remainder in the trash. Bake for nine months and then regret for rest of life.
If proper ingredients cannot be procured, it is generally recognized that the nearest approximation is pouring canola oil and a fine layer of dog hair between two sofa cushions.