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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Cupid.


Cupid, brother of Jesus and Pedro, is a mythical beast whom causes mayhem and misery with his arrows of love. He fires them willy-nilly into the genitals of lovers, wounding them and causing them to be unable to make love.

His father is God, and his mother is Aunt Jemima.

Known History[edit]

The history of cupid has been told many times on Public Broadcast Television, it all started when God was creating himself while he was drinking goat milk, but... the goat milk tasted so awful he vomited a part of himself with it (This happened on a Wednesday, it's now a part of the 7 Deadly Sins), the rotten milk fused with the holy powers of god, eventually, they made their way to Aunt Jemima.

Why he turned evil[edit]

Despite that Cupid had an awful childhood, he turned to the dark side of the force in order to save his loved passion for Huffing Kitten, this was predicted by the Sporks before cupid was even born. Once he turned to the dark side, the Devil gave Cupid an Evil Bow, equiped with evil Heart Shaped sharp arrows that had the power of destroying 3 Giants in one blow, also, Cupid was given wings after he killed the Fairie God Mother with his evil arrows.

That's what some people believe, anyway. Most people, however, agree that this is the work of famed historian Twelve Year Old Kid, who performs his research by sniggering and having acne. Nevertheless, in the remainder of this article, we will continue to study the work of Twelve year Old Kid and sigh with embarrasment. Pray, Twelve Year Old Kid, what have you more to tell us?

Where is cupid now?[edit]

Cupid's current possition is unknown, there are several rumors that he's hiding somewhere in Jamaica. He's currently on the Top10 Most Wanted, he's wanted for the crime of selling Kittens for the purpose of Kitten Huffing, he smuggled 3 tons of Kittens across the border line between Mexico and the United States in 2 Days. Currently, 2 Million Dollars are rewarded for his capture, dead or alive.

[1]Alleged Plot to Kill Cupid