DC Comics

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“Welcome to DC, bitch!”

~ DC on Marvel

“Does this comic have something to do with dicks and cunts?”

~ Noob on DC Comics
Justice League, predecessor of 1980s pop group Human League

Originally devoured by Clark Kent as part of his secret identity, Dumb Crap Comics later sheltered Fatman and many other super-heroes by the same means.

DC Comics now publishes comics about Stupiderman, Fatman, Under Wear Man, BIONICSHIT, Aqua, the Justice Leak and the Legion of Stuper-Heroes, all in the interests of denying that these people do not exist.e

Every single superhoe who comes form DC Comics has blonde pubic hair, and a bisexual sidekick, e.g. Batman and Robin, Superman and Superboy, Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl, etc.

Jessica Clarke-Jones smilingCrisis on Infinite Earths.

If anyone actually sees any of these people flying around, and is crazy enough to tell anyone, they'll be told "What's wrong with you, don't you know they're just in comics? Oh, and movies? And on TV, too?" and laughed at and sneered at. Meanwhile Stupiderman or whoever can get on with beating up the bad guys without being distracted by autograph-hunters.

To make extra money, in 2007, DC Comics began publishing comic books for Nickelodeon, including the short lived "Danny Phantom Comics".

Except Fatman, who needs a plane or a helicopter or a Whirly-bat to fly.

Oh, and Aqua, who can't fly. OH MY GAWD IT'S FUCKING AQUA MAN. HE HAS A TATTOO OF ADAM MITCHELL ON HIS DICK.Or did he have a plane in the 60s? I can't remember now. If he did, count him in with Batman. If he didn't, he's stuck with running around the streets in that costume, and being mistaken for someone cosplaying as him. Plus, he is racist. He fights a guy called the Black Manta who is black, for pete's sake.

Oh, and one other thing, they all seem to have some beef with the Undead Kingdom. OK, so they tried to do Danny Phantom Comics, but then you've got villains from Grey Britain like The Mad Mud, who fought the Teen Titans. And then there's ones that take the pee like the Shining Knight, who doesn't shine at all (or does he).

There is little truth to the rumor that D.C. stands for District of Cuntpussys, nor that the stuperheroes regularly need the services of a Doctor of Chiropractic, nor that it secretly advocates abortion D & C.