Damien Hirst
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Born in Lincolnshire in 1831, ‘’’Damien Hirst’’’, son of the legendary cricketer Geoff Hirst, became an important figure in the development of the butchery trade in 19th-century England.
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[edit] Pie in the ear
Prior to Hirst's arrival on the scene, the British people subsisted on a mainly lentil-based diet where bland dishes such as Apple Turner and Constable Custard featured heavily. Bored with this diet, and after travelling extensively in Ireland, Hirst pioneered the introduction of new delicacies such as beef and lamb to the British people, succeeding where many other butchers had failed. It is widely accepted that Hirst's success in this area was down to the innovative way he displayed his produce. He specialised in chopping animals such as cows and sheep right down the middle, displaying the two halves in his shop, and allowing children to run up and down the middle, laughing at all the blood and guts.
[edit] British bastards slow to change
Even with this approach, however, the cautious British public took a while to fully embrace the new delights being offered by Hirst, and a number of traditionalists disregarded what they saw as a new diet fad. But the turning point came when the head chef at the exclusive London restaurant 'The Last Supper' featured Hirst's comestibles on the menu at a state banquet in honour of Prince Albert.
[edit] Have a butcher’s
With the popularity of these new delicacies growing, butchery was transformed from a sordid back-street business into a respectable and thriving commercial opportunity. Hirsts the Butcher (later merged with Dews the Butcher, with the whole company subsequently rebranded as Dewhirsts) dominated this emerging market, and Hirst was able to retire with a small fortune at the age of 32. This early retirement gave Hirst the opportunity to indulge his interest in drink and illegal drugs.
Though he made occasional attempts at expanding his business into other areas, most notably having short-term success with a string of fish and chip shops in Dublin and a chain of local pharmacies in Derbyshire, butchery remained his core business interest.
[edit] Pie in your eye
Whilst Hirst is widely believed to have been instrumental in the discovery of the Pork Pie, this accolade is officially awarded to the daughter of the Mayor of Melton Mowbray at the time, Tracey Emin. The disagreement surrounding the origins of the Pork Pie fuelled the 'Great Pie Uprising' of 1896, and it remains a source of contention between the peoples of Lincolnshire and Leicestershire to this day.
[edit] Private dismembers’ club
Hirst died on October 6th, 1896, of complications arising from a verruca. In honour of his pioneering work in the field of butchery, his body was dismembered and buried at a number of secret locations around Lincolnshire.
People still talk about Hirst as if he were still alive. “That bastard can’t paint,” they say, as well as “My three-year-old son could’ve done that.”
