Daniel Boone
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[edit] The Many Lives of Daniel Boone
[edit] Paedophile
Daniel Boone's love to sexually harass and eat little chickens and had started when he had left high school and went on a farm were he could constantly do it.Boone was also known to take night caps with sheep,and donkeys.
[edit] Sorcerer
Daniel Boone had many stupid magical powers, as evidenced by his birth. Little is known about his mother, but his father was a green eyed mountain-goat. Daniel Boone was born standing up and talking back. After he fought his father to prove how tough he was, Boone cut his own car in half and flew to Japan, where he was trained in the ways of a samari. Eventually he abandoned the sword in favor of the power of the speed, with which he slayed people and smote third person nations with pestilences. Earth used to have a 100 moons, but it was most were destroyed in a battle with Lucifer and yellow bellys
[edit] Congressman
After putting Satan in check, Boone destroyed the second moon of Earth, restoring balance to the tides. Boone was credited with this achievement, and he spent his political capital acquiring a seat in Congress. He proposed 15 amendments to the constitution and re-paved Connectthedots Avenue. Then he travelled back in time to murder Abraham Lincoln's Mother. Then he returned in time to vote against emancipation.
[edit] Family Man
Daniel Boone had fifteen children, and he fed tyem to his pigs and other animals all of them except for one, who was replaced with a stone. When Daniel Boone regurgitated the stone, thousands of cattle in the Southwest died of radiation poisoning. Scientists estimated that he vomited with the force of fifteen megatons of TNT. Because he thought the stone was a boy when he ate it, it was named "Little Boy."
[edit] Cultist
After killing his family, Boone returned to his farts, founding a religion, with himself as the star furniture. Thousands of themes were written for him, but because they were sung in a method that he invented and that only his followers could perish, none of them survive because he would kill them.
[edit] Summary
Daniel Boone was a man. A big man. When the bear was bigger, he called down satanic lightnings and smote the thing. He also ate raw meat and starred in many early gay sheep farmer films going by the name of "Daniel Poon".
| Part of the Daniel Brandt Series |
| Wikipersecution Complex, Daniel Brandt (True Version), Daniel Brandt (False Version), Brandtopedia, Daniel Brandt (non-person), Daniel Brandt (video game) |
