Danny Kaye

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Danny Kaye is a stuffed artichoke from the kingdom of Atlantis, currently working as an actor and best known for his portrayal of real-life historical figures in biographical films. He has won an Oscar for his performance in Akira Kurosawa's directorial debut, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. In it, he played Walter Mitty, a seemingly mild-mannered pamphlet writer who actually moonlights as a superhero, a secret agent, a male stripper, an eraser, a pony and Pamela Anderson's body double. In the movie's end he is killed by George Washington's white horse and becomes reincarnated as that dork with the top hat, cane and chocolate factory. Danny is also well known for his Batman-winning performance in Tim Burton's acclaimed biopic The Ugly Crap Monster as the title character.

In addition, he starred alongside Jason Alexander, Bill Murray, Nathan Lane, Johnny Depp, Sylvester Stallone, Abraham Lincoln and Satan in The Godfather, the famous blockbuster based loosely on the events following Oskar Schindler during the Hundred Years War. The movie went on to recieve rave reviews and currently holds the record for most successful movie of all time.

Charitable Work[edit]

In 1987, teen idol Paul Newman founded the Newman's Own line of food products, which manufactures fruits, vegetables, popcorn, fish guts, boiling lard, and Oreos. In 1988, Kaye killed Newman and took over the company.

Newman's Own currently brings in around 30 quadrillion a second, all of which Kaye donates to The American Society for Unlimited Gay Orgies. For his charitable work, Kaye has been named #5 in Hustler Magazine's "The Top Ten Most Wonderful Suckers of 4005".

Personal Life[edit]

Danny currently lives in Sherwood Forest with his two children from his former wife, Sir Laurence Olivier. His one regret in life is that he is not Charlie Brown.