Darth Cow

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The one on the left was Darth Cow before he turned evil.

(1976-long long ago) Darth Cow is a fierce and deadly sith ruminant.


Darth Cow was originally a normal cow until one fateful day, when his life was changed forever. Darth Cow was imbued with his evil powers by a simple accident.

One evening during dinner he was bitten by a radioactive Jedi. This bite transfered Jedi DNA into his flesh and tranformed his body through the strange and evil powers of evolutionary biology. The Jedi DNA strengthed him, transformed him and cured him of his recent injurys.

Darth Cow lept off the dinner plate, eyes red, nostrils steaming and crushed the life from the unsuspecting radioactive Jedi diner. After shaking the A1 Sauce from his back, Darth Jedi moooed loudly and began absentmindedly grazing on the dinner salad which had been knocked to the floor during his epic battle and conversion to the Dark Side.


Darth Cow working for Chick-Fil-A.

Darth Cow has become a formidable force for evil, but he still retains some of the scars given him before his conversion. His back is covered with crosshatched grill marks and his skin is burned a unsightly medium rare.

Because of his injuries Darth Cow wears a mechanical life support suit created from rare polished plastics and fine black microfiber suede. This suit serves two purposed, to make him look really evil and more importantly to make him look really cool.


Darth Cow's most spectacular weapon is not a weapon at all but an ability he gained when he joined the darkside. His Sith Sense allows him to amble away from danger and saunter under a tree before it rains.

Darth Cow has no hands and because he was gelded at the age of two his horns are only nubs. But due to the freak transgenderification during his conversion he has developed massive perky udders. These powerful milk-slingers allow him to shoot milk at incredible pressures.

Using his milk-slingers Darth Cow can knock rebels to the ground and drown them in bodily fluids. He can fire a powerful jet of steamed milk to propel himself from field to field, and also make an incredibly fast and incredibly fresh cup of cappucino.


List of famous Sith Lords
(Mostly people using the title Darth)

Emperor Palpatine D'arthangnan Darth Anonymous Darth Cheney Darth Cow
Darth Dickens Darth Dietmar Darth Feta Darth Hitler Darth Hogan
Darth Maul Darth Nocuous Darth Sidious Darth Tater Darth Vader