Dave Lombardo

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Although Dave Lombardo is often names as the drummer in the east coast rap crew called Slayer. This was really an imposter. The real Lombardo is an 82 year old Alzheimers patient addicted to cannabis and living out his last days cursing the name of the imposter (Nikola Paunovic). He currently resides in the Alabama nursing home for the mentally ill.

Losing his identity[edit]

When Dave had his identity stolen by Nikola in the infamous 'Montreal kick-him-in-the-balls-and-run scam', he became seriously depressed. His whole life was in that identity and now he had no idea what to do. He was close to dying on the streets when a man came up to, his face covered. He asked 'Are you missing your identity sir?'. He gasped 'Yes!' before collapsing.

Time in the Hostel[edit]

He awoke in the hostel for people with no names and was introduced to the other residents. An extremely intelligent young man who went by the name 'the son formally known as George Bush'. He had had his identiy stolen by the town retard when he had tried to help him counter the abuse. The next resident was a powerful music genre who said he had been ass-raped while sleeping when the culprit made off with his identity. Thankfully many noticed the sudden change that had occurred under the name 'metal' and refsed to accept it.

Escape from the hostel and hunting Nikola[edit]

Dave escaped from the hostel after they tried to pawn him off with the name 'Joey Jordison', he thought it was an insult to be used in the same context as such a weak name. He followed Nikola's doings but failed as he always googled Nikola's name instead of his own. He was yet again wasting away when he was taking in by a quaint Catholic family who found him and fed him on the remains of their used spliffs.


The family pwned him off to a mental institute after he tried to tell them his story. This institute was a front for a drug factory and he soon became so drugged up he gave up on finding his identity. He is now sitting in his room, on the computer, smoking a freshly-made spliff and editting uncylopedia.


This article sucks ass. It should be avoided at all costs. The author has hung himself from shame. As he should,asshole.