David "The Gimp" McMackmakay
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[edit] Death and resurrection
This Guy was sentenced to 650 years in the Brisbane prison. He died there in 1938. On the third day, he rose again, and ascended into heaven. This scared the ever living shit out of the Christians, as they didn't know how to react. Was This Guy the second coming of Jesus? Alas, their fears were allayed when it was discovered that the resurrection was just an elaborate parlour trick he had learned from David Blaine earlier in his life.
He actually died the next afternoon. Upon search of his cell following his death, guards found what looked to be the remains of a slender Siamese under This Guy's bunk. Had This Guy managed to smuggle in a kitten during his last days on Earth? It seemed to be the case. In that sense, This Guy had gotten the last laugh.
Reports of This Guy began springing up everywhere. On street corners, in malls, and even sometimes on TV you could hear people saying "I saw This Guy just the other day and he was doing..." A certain Mikhail Maslyuk even reported having shot him. David Blaine tried to shoot him too, for stealing his trick. Jesus was pretty pissed about the entire "second coming" shtick, so he gave it a shot too. A mugger was heard saying he attacked This Guy in an alley.
Recent reports that This Guy has been seen hangin' out wit his homedog Elvis have been confirmed but nobody cares. It has also been stated that in March of 2004 he became the King of Honduras.
