David Copperfield

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“Whether I shall turn out to be the eater of the Great Wall, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, this Uncyclopedia page must show.”

David Blaine uses his magical talents to warn children of the dangers of cocaine abuse

David Copperfield is a novel by Charles Dickens about an American sex wizard who is, coincidentally, also called David Blaine. With him, you can fly up to the heaven of ecstasy regardless of whether you're doing it in bed, on the motorcycle or in a box (no matter what you are doing in it for that matter). In his show, roses are never red enough, bedsheets are never white enough, and spectators are never clever enough.

His magic[edit]

David Blaine was quite the magic man, using his "magic" powder to awe the crouds. Some wondered what all of the smoke "effects" were, but most understood after a few minutes exposure, though they didn't remember. Many of the audience from his shows would disappear and then come back days later in a hotel room in Vegas married to three women and a bad headache.His three biggest tricks == Here are his top three most grandiose tricks. Remember, even though Blaine never tells anyone how he does his magic, it's been confirmed that these three were just tricks.

  1. demolished the Statue of Liberty
  2. eating through the Great Wall of China
  3. Screwing Jodie Foster
  4. sniffing the three arms of Kevin Silmpson

Near the end of the book Copperfield is arrested for being a fraud, but of course he escapes from prison with a trick that would give Houdinni a wedgie of shame; said trick was perfomed with just a carnival midget and a pez dispenser. Also his ability to touch women's asses without them knowing gives him the name, "David Cop'a'feel"